25.11.2006
Love is better the Second Time Around
It must have been a Friday the thirteenth for me that day. But no actually it just seemed that way. For actually it was just a typical Monday Bla-Day, for most people, except me. I am the only person I know who actually looked forward to Mondays. I usually was up early, getting a jump start off for the week. I booked as many appointments as I possibly could for the day, to kick off the week. Who was I trying to kid, I did it to pull myself out of the miserable home alone weekend. The weekend I usually spent going over books and new properties and grocery shopping for quick meals for the week. But this Monday morning was entirely different than most, everything went wrong that could possibly go wrong. I burned my finger pouring the worst coffee I ever made. I burned my toast, so I skipped breakfast all together. My nine 0 clock appointment didn't show at all, so I lost a whole hour. I got a run in my pantyhose, snagged on my desk chair and had to buy another pair. Snagging them I cussed "Dam this chair Susan order me a new one today." "Yes mam she said answering the phone. Susan, was my right arm and secretary. I thought I had got to where I wanted to be in life, my own boss. I wasn't rich, but I had my own Real Estate Office. I had incurred a nice nest egg and had a very nice two story brick home in the quiet selective neighborhood where I had always wanted to live, and lots of nice clothes. That whole day had been one disaster after another. Finally while I was heading home after a late dinner meeting with a client, I was exhausted. I had closed the deal on the house they wanted, but while the wife was in the restroom the jerk made a pass at me. I soon set him straight that I wasn't that type and pocketed his check into my briefcase and left him stunned. Typical of me I find I had had left now days, be what it was it was there when I needed it, until now. When a car pulled up and blinded me. I silently prayed it would be somebody for real and not some pervert, or escaped convict. I must have looked crazy in the blinding headlights. With drenched hair, greasy and dirty, kicking the crap and cussing out a defenseless piece of machinery. Someone in a suit and tie got out and coming over asked "Need help mam?" "Yes I do, I'd really appreciate it." "Well hello" He said "Get in the car pull on the emergency brake, and stay in out of the rain. I'll have it fixed in a minute Kat." He pulled a rain coat out of the car and I turned to do as I was told. Getting into the car I thought, " Well now that's the icing on the cake for today. I guess he should know me, we were married for two years." I wondered what he was doing back here. Silently I was thankful it was him that had stopped instead of some mad man. I had heard he had married last year, and moved on again, or ran away. Just like he did when I told him I wanted a divorce, and him out of my life. We had married right out of high school against our family wishes, we were head strong and hell bent on having our own way. But we had fought, oh God I remembered, every Monday night we fought like mad. He would drink all weekend and then I would have to drag him out of bed to go to work, at a job he hated. I sure didn't like mine either, but we were determined to make it on our own. We fought right through to Friday, then we would make up, clinging to each other and making love, then on Saturday he would start all over. I really didn't mind the drinking, until it got out of hand on the weekends. I occasionally liked it myself. But if we went out and he got drunk he would get jealous and start a fight with me or any guy who looked at me. About a year before we split up, he would come home drunk every night. He would complain about his job, then mine, then dinner. "Kat let's blow this lousy town, and make something of ourselves" He would beg me, and I would cry and say." I'm not leaving. You can make something of yourself right here Luke Warner, if you would stop drinking and be a man." That always hit him below the belt. He would grab me by the waist and throw me on the bed, and tickle me till we both forgot what we were fighting about. Then we would kiss and make wild love to each other. Luke's's kisses always melted my temper and weakened my knees. That and sex was the only thing we really had going to keep us going. I shivered now from my thoughts or the dampness I didn't know which. There was a tap on the window and I rolled it down. He said "It's on I put the jack and tire in the trunk. You need to get a new one soon, that spare is really slick." "Thanks Luke, I'll get one as soon as I can." "Want me to follow you and make sure you make it in?" "No thanks I'm not that far away from home." He ran a finger down my cheek, sending chills down my spine. He said "I see you're still as pretty as ever." "I see you're sober and it's nine P.M.." "Always punching me huh Kat?" "See you Luke thanks again." And I drove off gripping the wheel as hard as I could. Three days later I was on my way to buy that tire, when the car stalled. "Oh please not now. It's high traffic time." I coasted over to the side of the street and tried to start it again. Horns were blowing and people were yelling at me to get out of the way. Giving up on starting it I hung my head on the steering wheel and cried. I heard a noise and looked up. I saw my hood up and someone was tapping on the windshield, giving me the signal to try and start it. There was still no starting it. The hood slammed and I saw the face of who came to my rescue, it was Luke. Getting in and scooting me over he said "St she would his sister. We kept in touch since we had been friends first, but it had been awhile since I had heard from her. So I found out he was back because their dad had died, and he had come back to settle the Estate I quickly apologized for not being at the funeral. I had not had time to see the paper in weeks. "I had no idea John was sick Lil." "He had a heart attack, and was gone, it was the second in a year. We are putting the farm on the market, so naturally I thought of you. Luke told me to handle it, so he doesn't know yet." "I'll be glad to handle it Lil. So how long is Luke staying?" "Forever I guess, he's taking over the garage." "But he hated mechanic work." "He hated working with dad. He says he plans on running the garage his way." "Oh and his new wife?" She laughed and said. "What wife? He never married he says you ruined him. Truth is I think he never got over you. He asked about you too." "I saw him today. In fact I never realized it was your dad's station he pushed my car into, till now." "It's his now. Still driving that lemon?" "Yea I guess so. You know me and cars, all I can do is start them and keep them between the lines." "Get a new one Katherine. Give me and appointment for tomorrow." I penciled her in for eleven and checking my watch I left to go to the garage. He was still working on the car. He pulled out from under the car, looking straight up my legs, then got up, wiping his hand on a rag. "So I'm late! Look honey, I've done all I can do It will run, but that's about it. You'll never make it home, buy a new one and junk this one." "You know how salesmen are they'll see me coming a mile away. Fix it." "Kat the car is dead, ready for the junk hole. It was a good one when I bought it, but it's had it. If anyone could fix it I can and I can't." I knew he was right. He checked his watch and then said "Gary Purdue runs a decent car lot. Let me clean up and I'll handle the deal for you, if you see something you like, and you'll owe me one." I sat in the office area till he finished cleaning up and shucking his coveralls. Then he made a call to Gary and we drove in silence, across town. He always was good on car deals and knew his way around a dealer. He always made good deals. In fact the car that just died, he got for nearly nothing. And it sure had been a good one. After looking at several cars I spotted one I liked, and we test drove it. He put it through the Warner test and satisfied with my choice said "Let's haggle Gary." Inside his office he said "What dragged you back in town? You know I hate to see you coming." I enjoyed seeing Luke wheel and deal, he was good. I kept silent and watched as I looked at him. He had gained some weight and was more muscular now. He wore his hair much shorter and had grown a beard. He was still good looking. I guess he would always hold a piece of my heart. I regretted that we hadn't had any kids. That was another thing we argued over. I wanted to save money and go back to school, before starting a family. Luke liked living from paycheck to paycheck. They would have been beautiful kids for sure. His voice boomed through my thoughts as he said "That's OK with you isn't it honey?" "What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening." "I told Gary to knock off another thousand on the maintenance agreement, that I'll take care of that. And I'll give it the tune up it needs." "Sure, you're making the deal." I signed the papers and my check and Gary said "How soon did you say you were leaving town? Between you and your old man this town would go under. Sorry to hear about John. Just kidding about that. Glad to see you an went any further and told him I had a busy day ahead of me and we left our separate ways for home. I could hardly keep the car on the road because my hands shook so much from the excitement of his touch. I hardly slept at all that night and when I did I dreamed about our past. When the alarm went off I knocked it in the floor trying to shut it off and had to finally get up to shut it off. "Dam it" I cussed and hurried off to the shower to wake up and dress for work. I was making coffee when the phone rang and it was Luke reminding me not to forget to bring the car by. I told him I was running late but would be there. In my haste to turn the water off and get on with my quick breakfast, water gushed everywhere, wetting my clothes and the handle was in my hands. Once again I cussed an Luke was yelling "Kat what's that noise?" "I'm getting soaked, the faucet broke and water is gushing everywhere, I don't know what to do, it won't go back on. He told me to look under the sink for a shut off valve, and to turn the water off. I put the phone aside out of the way of the water and found what he described and finally shut it off. I tried the handle again but it wouldn't go back on, picking up the phone I said "I still can't get it on, I'm soaked and have to change. I'll be there as soon as I can." Hanging up I rushed to my room to find another outfit, a white silk blouse and black skirt and my purple jacket, and a blue lace teddie was all I had clean. I hurried and changed making a mental note to do some laundry when I got home. Finally getting to the station I talked to him briefly and he told me he would call a plumber for me since I was so busy. "One faucet or two?" "One with the handle, you know the address?" "Lil told me" "Tell him Mrs. Wynn next door will let him in, she has the key." When he asked me to pick up the car at noon I asked if he could bring it to the office for me and he agreed and told me to have a good day. I was with a client when he brought the car in and I gave Susan his keys and waved a thank you to him. When my day ended and I dragged home it was six 0 clock. I was too tired to do laundry but I must. I had hoped the faucets were done, but could see they weren't. But at least someone was working on them, the tools were laying around on the floor, at least someone was still planning on working on them. I gathered up a load of laundry and started the load. When I came back into the kitchen someone was back under the sink. I bent down asking "Almost through?" "Almost just a few more minutes." It was Luke, a hand reached around as he felt around asking me to hand him a wrench. I was holding it under the sink as he was groping around in the air, and he latched onto my leg. When he realized he had he jerked his head up and hit it on the drain and said "Dam "and our eyes met. I got salad preparations out and asked if he wanted a salad with me. Then asked what happened to the plumber. "They were all busy and I decided to do it myself. You know I don't eat rabbit food. Thanks anyway, but I had a couple of cheeseburgers awhile ago. OK now to turn on the water." He turned the shut off valve back on and checked for leaks and found none. Then he held up the old faucet and showed me, "See you stripped the plastic gears, it wouldn't have worked without a new one. But it's all ready to go now." I thanked him asking what I owed him. He gave me the price of the faucets and said, "My labor is free." "I really appreciate it, can I get you something else? "I didn't mind I wasn't as busy as the plumbers seemed to be." I handed him some bills to pay for the faucets and he opened the fridge and got out a pop. Surprised he didn't hesitate I said, "I don't stock beer anymore." ""I stopped drinking a year could go out some night soon?" Refusing to look him in the eye I said "Luke too much water is under the bridge now. We both have gotten on with our lives. I'm sure your new girl wouldn't like it much". "There is no new girl." "It wouldn't be a good idea, you know how it was with us." "Yea I never forgot, no matter how much I tried." He caught me off guard and pulled me in his arms again and kissed me long and hard. I couldn't help but return it although my mind told me I shouldn't. He always done that to me, and it was obvious he hadn't forgot how, as he tantalized me with his lips. Separating and looking into each others eyes he said "I've missed you." He kissed me again and then my throat. I had to hold onto his shoulders I was afraid of falling if I didn't. "Luke don't please. Don't." I whispered, but he wasn't listening. He was busy kissing me hungrily again before I could say anything else. I ran my hands through his hair and the old memories flooded my head. And I didn't care that he was unbuttoning my blouse and then my skirt. When I was standing there in my lace teddy all I could do was tremble as he stared at me for a minute, before he pushed me back over the table. Groaning he pulled the straps down my shoulders and the teddy down as he kissed my chest till he freed my breasts. Kissing them one by one he jerked the rest of the teddy off. My body trembled from his touch as he moaned. It had been years, two in fact since I had been with someone and I responded even if I knew I shouldn't. After another hasty hungry kiss, he swooped me into his arms and carried me out of the kitchen. It became obvious later he had looked around since he seemed to know where the bedroom was, he was going straight to it. He tenderly laid me on the bed and looked at me for a second, then yanked off his clothes. I turned my head slightly embarrassed although I had no cause to be after all I had seen him naked several times.. But I felt embarrassment for that he had control over me, and I wanted him to. When he kneeled over me kissing me hungrily again he parted my legs with his knee, and slowly entered me. It wasn't like old times, he was stronger and bigger, and lots more tender. But when he seemed to hurt me, he kissed my lips and whispered "sorry." When it was over much too soon I was disappointed but embarrassed. I pulled away from him and went and showered off. When I came out he was in his pants and smoking laying on the bed. I fastened my robe tighter around me and shook out my damp hair and said. "I need to get my clothes out of the dryer"
"OK honey, want me to leave?" "If you want to." When I finished hanging up my clothes he was in the kitchen barefoot and shirtless, looking in the fridge. I was silently glad he wasn't leaving, but embarrassed to ask him not to, my body still tingled from his touch.. He grinned at me over the fridge door and asked. "Still want your salad hon?" "No, see if there's cheese and I'll get the crackers." That was always our favorite snack I remembered, and could tell by the look on his face, he did too, I threw the salad in the trash. He sat out the cheese and got some pop for us both and we ate silently across the table from each other. Then he put the things away while I wiped off the table. I asked "So are you going to stay in town and keep the business up?" "Plan to. After you sell the farm, I'll need a place of my own I guess." "I'll look around still have the same ideas I suppose? Still have that cabin at the lake?" "Oh definitely we're keeping it for a hideaway. You get away much?" "I don't have the time, and I like to stay busy." "Oh but you have to take time, no play makes for a dull life. Boyfriend?" "No time for that either. I heard you remarried what happened to that?" "Who me? Came close, but she tried to push me too much." "You never did like that." "Nope never will." He was beside me again and then pulled me into his arms and kissed me again and I ran my hands down his back, and pulling away I said "Luke we shouldn't" "Too late! And he led me back to the bedroom, and he took a shower. I sat nervously on the edge of the bed and set my alarm and w was no dream. And both sides of the bed being rumpled told me so too. Dressed I made my way to the kitchen and smelled coffee. Luke was standing there dressed and drinking coffee. I was totally embarrassed but shouldn't have been. He poured me a cup of coffee and handing it to me saying "You look nice." "Thanks" Looking at his watch he said. "Well got to go I'll be late, I'll call you." Leaning in to kiss me I turned away saying "It's not a good idea Luke." "Oh well see you." I felt guilty after seeing the hurtful look on his face, and knew he was disappointed. Before he shut the door I said "Thanks see you soon." He left without replying and I heard him squeal tires on the way out, that much hadn't changed, he did it when he was mad. A few weeks later I had sold the farm and divided the money into two checks and stopped off at the station with a couple of prospective properties for him. He was busy with someone in his office so I waited. I couldn't help but hear him say he would see her at seven as she left. I felt a tinge of jealously as I thought he had found a replacement. He ruled out two of the prospects and said he was in no hurry, but would see the other one." Saturday is my only clear day though" "Nine 0 clock then?" "Sure I'll meet you at your house." "Make it the office I have some work to do first." "OK see you there." We were both business like. As I was leaving I felt his eyes burning me all the way to my car. When I turned around he was staring at me wiping his hands on a rag, I waved to him and drove off. Saturday while showing him the house he didn't like it at all. I apologized saying I would keep looking. He said he might just rent some place, or buy some land to build what he wanted if I didn't find something he liked. "I'm going up to the cabin, why don't you join me, we can fish and swim and relax." He tried to kiss me and I pushed him away saying "I can't I have two more clients to see. Thanks anyway. When he left me at the office he added "If you change your mind, come on up. I'll be there until Monday morning." "I just don't have time maybe later." "OK bye see you." "Bye Luke." Later I had one to cancel on me and debated on driving up anyway. But then I knew where we would end up, so I decided not to, and went to visit my mother in the nursing home. Three weeks later we had a three day weekend and I looked forward to some time off. Lil begged me to use the cabin. She had the keys and she and Gene would be camping by the lake, and wouldn't bother me. "Go on enjoy the break. "She begged.. I was interested so I took the keys saying she was right I needed the break. I bought my supper and hurried home to pack a few necessities and hurried to the cabin before it got dark. Once there I settled in putting things away and fell right to sleep. Something woke me and I jumped out of bed realizing it was thunder. Then I saw car lights shining toward the door. I figured it was Lil, although they were planning on camping by the lake. I was grabbing my shirt and trying to slip it on, when the cabin door opened and I shielded my eyes from the car lights as the cabin lights came on. I heard "Dam what a welcome." I jerked my shirt together hastily buttoning it and asked. "Luke! What are you doing here?" "I could ask you the same thing darling but I won't. I came out to relax for the weekend." "Lil didn't tell me you'd be here." "She had no idea, I just decided at the last minute. In fact I tried to call you, to see if you would join me. Let me cut my lights." He came back and pitched down his bag and a cooler. It was lightning in the south and still thundering. "I'll leave so you can have your weekend anymore." I curled up on him and wrapped my arm around his chest. He fell back to sleep and I still felt his arms tighten around me as he slept, as I drifted off to sleep. I was dreaming again that we were back home in my house, happy again. We were kissing and he was touching me in that familiar way. His fingers were poking me as his tongue probed my mouth and I dreamed he said "I love you Katherine." And I whispered back "I love you too." In my dream he entered me and we were making love. Something woke me, moaning, my moaning. It was daylight and Luke was on top of me and in me. I pushed against him and wiggled under him. Before I could say Let me up I was climaxing and moaning again. He was moaning and saying "Oh baby ride it out." He was too strong for me to push him off and I was in the middle of another climax, so I decided to enjoy the moment. In between climaxes he would kiss me and pull me tighter. When he climaxed he rolled off me and was catching his breath. "Much better than old times, we've improved with age" he said. I laid my head on his chest and ran my hand across it saying," You took advantage of me while I was sleeping Luke Warner." "You started it with your moaning. What were you dreaming about?" "Does it matter?" "Guess not. Maybe I took advantage of you, but you enjoyed it." "Of course I did. I'd be a fool if I didn't." Getting out of bed I said "I'll shower and then let's see what's for breakfast." When I came out showered and dressed he had scrambled eggs and fried potatoes and toast ready. He poured me a cup of coffee and we sat down to eat. He was dressed in shorts and a tee shirt. We ate and I cleaned up the kitchen and made the bed, while he fixed his poles and put away his quilt. When I finished I had debated on leaving but I really didn't want to. I found him fishing down by the lake. I asked "When is Lil coming up?" "I didn't even know she was, I just told her I was coming." "And she failed to tell you I was here?" "You know Lil has a one track mind." "I wouldn't put it past her to plan it like this." "Me either, but honest I didn't know myself I was coming until the last minute." "Well I'll leave now so you can be alone." He handed me a pole and said. "I don't want to be alone, I want to be with you." Neither of us said anymore. Later I gave up on fishing and took off my shirt and shorts to my bathing suit for some sunning. I laid on my shirt and he soon was spreading lotion on my back and shoulders. "Let's get married again!" He said. "Luke!" "I mean it, I miss being with you. You said you loved me." "I was dreaming Luke." "Well you didn't stop me from making love to you the third time." I turned over on my back and he proceeded to rub lotion on my legs and stomach and arms. "I'm serious. Now we don't have to live from pay check to paycheck. I can give you the kind of life you deserve. I quit drinking for you know, and I want a family." "Luke we tried being married and it didn't work. Can't we just be friends?" "I want more than friendship and safe sex." He unfastened my top and kissed my breasts and said "Marry me again." During our kissing he was pulling off my suit bottoms and I was letting him. Then we heard a horn blowing and yelling. "Dam it Luke, now look at me." "I am darling, I am." He looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. I hid behind him and hastily re dressed by the time Gene's camper came to a stop three feet from us. Luke said "It's about time you guys showed up." I tried not to show my disappointment as we helped them set u the moon and stars waiting for the fish to bite. He nibbled on my neck and whispered "Don't make me beg to have you back." "Why I like it?" "You always did. You would love me to crawl on my hands and knees begging you wouldn't you?" "No I wouldn't." In the dark no one could see, I held onto the pole as he pinched and tugged at my breasts. I giggled and hollared as I felt a huge jerk on the pole, and he stopped to help me reel in a big fish. Lil and Gene had said goodnight and went inside their camper. We were on the other side of the lake sitting on a quilt. He strained to see his watch and said "I forgot to put up a tent you know?" "It's OK, I don't mind." I kissed him quickly. He propped up his pole and pulled off my shirt, and kissed and licked my breasts. He said "I always loved this about you." Grasping his head and urging him to continue I said, "Shouldn't we go inside?" "We didn't use to." "But we were here alone." "Be adventurous baby. Let me see you in the moonlight>" "You first Warner." Quicker than lightning he was naked and so was I. Together we played and went down on each other off and on until it got late. Leaving our clothes behind we raced to the cabin and I beat him and jumped into bed. And into the wee hours of the morning we kissed, laughed and made love. Only after I heard Lil calling "Get up you two." Did I remember our clothes we left by the lake. He told me not to worry about it, they knew how we were. We took a quick shower and even there we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Finally dressed and starting down to the campsite he said. "You have to admit you enjoy us being together again. And realize it or not, we've been together two nights and a whole day and we haven't fought." "Yet, give it time." "I don't have anything to fight with you about, and neither do you for me." "You are right, it definably is a welcome change with you being sober." "That's how it will be from now on." "Luke please don't ruin the weekend. I can't make any promises." "Do you want me to beg, like I use to for you not to leave me? Is that what you want, then I will" I stopped him before he got on his knees saying. "No Luke I don't want you to beg. Just give me time to think about the changes that will have to be made." "Don't think too long darling. I'm lonely and we aren't getting any younger." Gene's voice said "Anyone wanting breakfast better get here on the double" When re reached their site our clothes were in a pile beside their camper. I was totally embarrassed through breakfast. I begged off on fishing and sat on the porch of the cabin to read. Up in the afternoon my mind kept wandering from the book. I kept watching Luke who was fishing. It was like I was watching a double screen at the movies without sound. On one screen was of Luke and me fighting every day. He would stumble around trying to kiss me. Then me screaming and trying to drag him out of bed, and getting us both ready for work. On the other screen was and entirely new couple. They were much older and sophisticated. They laughed together instead of fighting or arguing. They were totally engrossed with each other and enjoyed being together. Their love making was much different than the other screen. Instead of hurrying up to finish and fumbling around with each other. They took time to savor every minute they had with each other when they made love. They would caress and cling to each other not wanting to let go. Then I saw a pair of scales holding the fighting couple on one side, the loving couple on the other, which weighed more. Then I saw a run down apartment house with the fighting cou was content just being there. But he broke the silence. "I wanted to give you everything, you knew that. But I was just too young and head strong to see what I was doing wrong. I've had a lot of time to think about what went wrong and had a lot of regrets." "It wasn't all your fault. Neither of us were happy with the way things had to be. We were just too young from the beginning. We couldn't get work we were happy with and you had your dad and me both at your throat." "Well I didn't make it easy for either of you." He hugged me closer and kissed my forehead and continued. "Now neither of us have to work so hard to get what we want. I can afford to give you all the things you wanted that we could never afford." "I don't need material things anymore Luke. I'm stable and stay very busy to have much of a life." "Another reason exactly. You wouldn't have to work so hard if we were together again. We could have a real life now, and a happy one." "Luke I just can't I like being on my own lonely as it might be. We made a lot of mistakes, I don't want to make anymore. We hurt each other a lot. I don't want to be hurt again or hurt you either." "You're breaking my heart keeping us apart. It won't be like that." "But what if it is, I don't want to take the chance, not now. Give me time please?" He kissed me softly and quickly then said "Come on darling the fish are calling your name>" And he pulled me down to the lake. Actually the fish were biting really good. But I believe what he really wanted was me sitting between his legs and arms as we waited for the fish. I had to admit I liked it too, the closeness felt too good. The feel of his strong arms around me as they tightened around me felt right too right. Especially the fell of his lips on my neck as he kissed me. Lil would look at us and smile and take pictures when we weren't looking. While we prepared lunch she said "It looks good don't you think?" "Yes it looks good. But I don't want to jump back into the wrong thing. Or something I'll be sorry for." She laughed and then I realized she must have been talking about something else entirely. She asked "What are you talking about? I meant the cake looks good." "Sure the cake looks delicious. Lil are you sure he's changed. Do you really think he plans to stay in town, or is this just another passing thing?" "He's a grown man now, with no liquor fogging his mind. All he ever talked about while he was drying out was coming home to make something of himself. And to make up to you for all the unhappiness he gave you." "Honest?" "Honest! He still loves you Katherine, and I think you still love him. That's why you haven't been dating. Gene sees it too. Give him a chance, you both deserve a second time around>" Gene's voice interrupted us as he yelled in the door. "Hey girls! Luke caught the biggest fish I ever saw. Lillian get the camera." We ran back down to the lake Luke was so proud of his catch he grinned from ear to ear. He insisted that his picture be taken with me beside him an arm around me while he held the fish with the other. He asked "IS this good luck or what?" After the pictures we went to eat lunch. That night was a carbon copy of the two before. I hated to see the sun light that morning. I covered my head up to block it out. Luke soon peeped under the cover asking "What are you doing?" "It's daylight, it's soon going to end. We have to go home today." He kissed me quickly after uncovering my head and said. "Oh but it doesn't have to end. It can only be just the beginning." With that he started kissing me again and soon I was on top of him and we were making love once again. When we finished I still laid on top of him backin come back? I'll buy some fireworks and steaks and we can have a big old barbecue?" "Well I usually have a big old barbecue at my house for my employees." "Invite them here for a camp-out." "I'll think about it and ask around." "Well I hope you are thinking about something more important to both of us." "I am and I will I promise, just give me time." "Can I see you again?" "I'm sure you will right?" "Nothing definite?" "Not yet. I'd better go." He helped me load up my stuff and he held the door looking in he said "You'll still look for some property for me?" "Of course I will, and I'll forfeit my commission. Thanks for the great weekend." "Call me Kat?" "Yes I'll call you, and you can call me anytime. Bye>" He leaned in grasping the back of my neck he kissed me long and hard. When he let me go he said "Don't forget what we talked about." I nodded my head yes and started the car and backed out. He stood watching me until I got out of sight. At the end of the lane before turning onto the highway I debated on going back. I wanted to tell him we would try again, but then I was afraid to. I was afraid to get stuck if I turned around so instead I sat and cried and then I realized I was only trying to kid myself, it wouldn't work the second time. After pulling myself together I pulled out on the highway and headed home.
Tuesday Lil called asking we what happened before I left. When I told her nothing really she said Luke was really depressed as hell, and wouldn't even talk to them. She said when they left he was just sitting on the porch staring down the lane. That afternoon I drove by his station, but he wasn't there, so I went home. The next day at work things were slow and I had returned from a showing and lunch. There was a package on my desk. When I opened it I found a dainty gold bangle bracelet similar to one Luke and I had admired years before when we were window shopping. I didn't even have to look at the card to know it was from him. But it said simply thanks Luke. I called right away and thanked him but declined his invitation to dinner, because I had a late appointment. I did drive by the office after my appointment hoping to catch him but he was gone. Even the next afternoon he wasn't there. I thought it was just as well. I did tell his employee Matt that I had some property to show him, and ask him to call me about them. A week later I drove by hoping to see him on my way to lunch. I spotted him pumping gas for some blond. He had shaved his beard and he looked much better. She was rubbing his muscled arm and smiling at him. Then she took his hand and ran it up her thigh, under her skirt. I cringed with the thought he didn't waste anytime finding someone else for his bed. He smiled at her and put the pump handle back and took her money and opened the car door and saw her off. My light changed and I went on. I decided I wasn't going back to find him now. I told myself I was just a game to him and someone to fill the gap until some new quest came along, obviously it had. Now I knew I must find something else to occupy my time what little I had to spare. With no appointments lined up and a headache getting worse I took the afternoon off and went home t the thirteenth movie. I picked it up screaming "Please stop this." The lights went completely out and there was a lot of static on the line, there was a loud crash and I screamed I couldn't help it. I slammed the phone down again. I fumbled my way to the kitchen and searched drawers feeling for some candles that I couldn't find. I picked up the kitchen phone and got the operator to try Lil's number for me. No one answered I guessed Luke was out with her . I made my way back to the living room, telling myself to stay calm There was no need to fall apart. The banging got worse, I told myself it was just a limb banging on the roof. I told myself again to stay calm and concentrate on where the candles could be, or a flashlight. I heard something at the back door it sounded like someone trying to get in. My heart jumped into my throat. I started rocking back and forth crying and saying, "It's only the wind, just the wind." Then I heard a loud bang from the kitchen and thought great now I would have to go and close the door. I fumbled my way to the swinging doors as I pushed them open I ran right into someone, and screamed. The next thing I knew I was on the couch, there were candles lit on the coffee table. I looked around clearing my foggy head. Then heard someone coming down the hall flashlight in hand. "Oh God " I thought. But no burglar would light candles I thought. But the person sitting down beside me was Luke saying "Are you allright Kat?" I hit him and said "Don't do that to me again.. You scared me to death." "I tried calling you." "All I could get was a dead line." "I could hear how upset you were, when you screamed I left." "I tried to call you afterwards." Pulling me in his arms and resting my head on his chest he said. "Well I'm here now, we'll wait out the storm together, like we use to." "Not quiet like we use to." He explained he had checked the rooms but a huge limb had fell and was hanging over the roof of my bedroom. There appeared to be no leaks in the roof, but it would have to be removed and checked for damages. He said he knew a reliable man who would take care of it and would give him a call in the morning. When I told him how I saw him that morning at the station making over that blonde he only said. "She was the one who done that. Women flirt with me all the time darling, except for you." "I don't flirt Luke Warner." "Yea I know, maybe you should try it. I told you how lonely I am. I hate being back in town and still away from you. Why can't you give an inch just once in your life?" He started kissing me and I let him. Just like before in no time he had me where he wanted me. He had taken our clothes off and had me giving in to him. When the lights came on right after we both reached a climax together he grinned and kissed me lightly and we sat up. I pulled my robe back around me and brushed my hair from my face as he slipped on his jeans. The storm was over but the storm was raging through my heart. I remembered what he had said He had said the right thing to remind me how it was before. Trying to kiss me again I shook my head no and said "Go home Luke." I started to the kitchen after blowing out the candles and he said "You don't mean it do you?" Only the look said enough. He began to leave with his head hung low and stopped just inside the front door looking at me with heart broken eyes and then walked on out. I wanted to stop him, but I knew I shouldn't and I cried myself asleep. The next few months were lonely and worrisome for me. Mom was worse and I had been very busy with work. One Friday afternoon I was called to the hospital. Mom had been admitted and it didn't look good. About seven that night I was surprised to see Lil walk in with a sandwich for me. One of her friends on the floor h grandchildren. Before she got really sick she would tell me "Katherine please get on with your life. I won't always be here for you. You'll be mighty lonely without someone else in your life." She was right I was lonely, especially now. "Oh mamma please tell me what to do." I got up and walked to the window staring out into the night. I remembered how full of life she had been. I remembered her laughter at night when she put us to bed. I remembered her singing in the morning when she fixed breakfast for us all. She too always loved the mornings, just like I do. I was sorry for all the worry I had put her through, those years when I had been so wild. But I knew she forgave me. She never got over my dad dying and leaving her. She said she couldn't watch the sunrise again, as they often had together. I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes and silently said I hoped I could watch the sunrise with someone for her someday. I heard a noise behind me and turned around to see Luke as he pulled me into his arms and held me while I cried. When I quit and dried my eyes I said "She always liked you." Luke stayed with me throughout the night and about 4 AM. She looked at me and said "You're back together. You belong together. I want to watch the sunrise that's coming up. I looked out the window and you could barely see the early glow of dawn. I raised her bed up and together the three of us watched as the sun slowly rose over the hills behind the hospital. "It's so pretty this morning isn't it Bill?" I stared a Luke and then realized what was happening. Bill was my daddy, I guessed he had come to take her home with him. I cried and held onto her begging "Don't go mama." She only said "you daddy needs me now. You can watch your own sunrises you and Luke." And she was gone. Luke pulled me away from her holding my hands to keep me from hitting him in the chest and he held me tight and said "Let her go sweetheart, she's feeling fine now." He held me for awhile longer standing beside the window my back to him arms tight around me and we finished watching the sunrise. He pulled away from me after kissing the top of my head and led me out into the hall. There he left me to speak to the nurses and afterwards he drove me home. He got me a quilt from the bedroom and I wrapped up on the couch while he called Carolyn and broke the news to them and then Lil. "She's on her way over. Do you want me to leave?" I shook my head no and let him slide in behind me on the couch and curled up in his arms. While he held me tight I whispered "Thanks for being with me when she left. It meant a lot to me, and for her to see us together." "I'll always be here for you when you need me Kat. I still love you Kat and I always will." I was too upset to tell him the same and just tightened my arms around him and fell asleep. I awoke to the smell of coffee and bread, Lil was making breakfast. Greg and Carolyn were there and Luke was gone. Sadly I went to shower and changed into a navy blue suit. I met the rest in the kitchen and over breakfast we made the decisions that needed to be made. Luke was back soon before we finished, he had showered and changed into a suit. Kissing my forehead he asked was If OK. I only nodded yes and smiled at him. Carolyn and I went shopping for black dresses after we left the men at the funeral home, after making arrangements. We returned home where Lil had been receiving a bounty of food from friends and neighbors, and we had lunch. The rest of the weekend was a haze for me as we attended our functions at the funeral home. Many times I was silently thankful Luke was beside me, for I don't think I could have made it without him. After everyone gathered at my house after the funeral home, we ate again. I was so tired and relieved when everyone else left. Greg and Carolyn went to their motel and Lil left for home. I prepared myself to be alone a now, and we have good jobs we're both happy with. Now all we need is each other. You know I love you more than anything. Anna said we belong together, you know she's right." "I don't know Luke, I'm so confused right now. Don't make it worse for me. I feel like everyone has left me now." "Not everyone, I'm still here, and I want to stay." Then he kissed me, that was all that mattered now. That and us pulling off each others clothes and him carrying me to bed. And the sweet loving we made, he would get carried away in his passion and whisper I'm sorry. I love you and I can't help it." We rolled over and over changing positions and craving every inch of each other, not being able to get enough. Worn out later and couldn't go on we curled up p in each others arms and slept. ' After we laid mom to rest and Greg and Carolyn went back home, Lil and Luke cleaned up the mess and she said she was leaving. We hugged good-bye and she told Luke she would see him later. When she left he asked me "Want to be alone?" "I think so do you mind?" "Well I'd like to stay with you, but I understand. Call me soon?" "Yes I'll call. Thanks for everything." "I love you." "I know." He left and I opened the door to stop him. I called to him, I wanted him to stay forever. But he didn't hear me call out his name, he was gone. I closed the door thinking it was just as well anyway and I cried. Once again I let my stubborn pride stand in my way of finding happiness. Thinking it was just as well. I had just let him sweep me off my feet again like he did when we were in high school. I told myself I was just lonely and accepted his advances for safe sex. I ignored my heart strings that pulled on me and refused to believe we were still in love after all we had been through. He was so strong and handsome now since he had aged and gained some weight and muscles. It was obvious he didn't have any trouble finding women. Often when I passed the station I saw the same blond with him. I also saw the was he seemed to enjoy her touch and the way he smiled at her. I couldn't help but miss him. Especially now when I remembered how it felt making love with him now. And it was making love not just sex. But I still kept myself from turning in the lot to talk to him. Although my heart begged me to tell him I wanted him back, I refused to listen. I was just afraid to admit it all along to anyone, especially myself that I still loved Luke, but I was afraid to try again. We talked often just briefly when he would call just to see if I was doing all right. Often I would stop myself from calling him, and often when I did, there was no answer. I told myself it was better that way. A month passed since mom passed away and it was nearing the Fourth of July. I hadn't planned my barbecue, because everyone else had their own plans. I wasn't really into socializing anyway. It had been quiet some time since I had seen Like except in passing. I presumed he had given up on me. I was glad some what. But I did miss him and the chase. I kept myself busy with work and staying away from the station as much as I could. I turned down invitations for dinner simply because I wasn't interested in seeing anyone. Actually I tried to tell myself that I wasn't. The truth was there was only one person I was interested in. I had a busy Wednesday and made a late appointment with a client to show him some office space and a warehouse. I agreed to meet him for dinner to discuss the deal and floor plan before showing him the property. He seemed so nice and a real businessman. I had no qualms leaving my car at the restaurant and leaving with him, as I often had with others. The warehouse had been recently vacated and the electric was still on. The owner was anxious to sell and left town leaving me in char crying and silently begging Luke to find me before it was too late. But I knew it was hopeless. I bit his hand the only thing close enough for me to fight with. That only angered him and he hit me in the face with the back of his hand. I cried out in pain as the tears stung my eyes. But laying across the desk did give me some advantage, As he stepped back to unbuckle his belt I knew I would have to make it good. When he came back towards me I raised my foot and kicked him hard in the groin. While he doubled over in pain, cussing me "You bitch you'll pay for that." I started getting up. He jerked his head listening, then I heard it too. The distant sounds of sirens, thank God someone was coming. He got to his feet and ran out the door. I was trying to hold my torn clothes together and clam myself when two officers came in the door pistols drawn ready for anything. One came to me while the other looked throughout the office. I tried to say in between sobs "Out the door", and I pointed at the side door. That officer headed outside while the other checked me over asking how bad was I hurt. My mouth was bleeding and as calmly as I could I told him I wasn't really hurt except for my face and back, but I was relieved. What seemed like hours the officer came back in from outside and said he must have run off into the fields. He suggested back up and dogs. The officer attending me said he would take me to the station for a report and medical attention. I gathered up my purse and briefcase and told them the man's name. The officer gave me a blanket from the patrol car and I shivered under it all the way to the station. Once we were there I was comforted my a lady officer who led me to a phone, after she had asked if I could call someone. My hands shook too bad to dial the number, for I kept messing up. Finally I gave her Lillian's number and she dialed it for me. When Luke answered the phone I started crying. The lady patted me on the back as I cleared my throat saying "Lillian Luke." "She's not here. What's wrong?" He kept asking. I caught my breath and said. "Don't come Luke, send Lillian." He was yelling this time and asked "What's going on Katherine, where are you anyway?" He kept on "Answer me dam it where are you?" I gulped back the tears and said "Luke! Luke!" I couldn't tell him. He yelled again asking "Where in the hell are you Kat? Tell me right now." I started crying harder and shook my head handing the phone to Jill the officer. I heard her ask for Lil. He obviously told her the same thing that she was out. I heard her say to just come to the police station, she would explain there. She turned to me after hanging up and asked was that my brother or who he was. "My ex husband, and he won't like this at all. I wish you had not told him I was here. You just don't know him like I do." "Is there anyone else I can call for you then?" "No I guess not." She led me to a private office and the officer who found me and Jill who got me some coffee and Officer Bryson took my statement. They told me the man who I knew to be Barry Reynolds was dead, so he wasn't the man he said he was. The car was a lease so they were checking on that information. In the meantime they presumed he was hiding out somewhere, maybe just left town. I gave them a pretty good description of the guy and they left me alone. In that office I paced the floor looking down at my ripped open blouse, buttons were gone and the sleeve was ripped nearly off me. The bra was unrepairable and I slipped out of the straps and stuffed it in my briefcase. My head hurt and my mouth burned. My back felt like I had scraped it on the edge of the desk. I started crying again and tried to hold my blouse together and wipe my burning eyes, as the tears streamed down my face. The door behind me opened home." He took off his jacket and helped me put it on and zipped it up. Detective Bryson came in and said they were still looking for the man and that I should go home. I asked "What if he know where I live and comes after me?" "I doubt that he will come around, but I can give you extra patrol, that's all I'm, short handed now. Perhaps you have family you can stay with, or someone else." He said looking directly toward Luke. I shook my head no and Luke said, "I'll stay with her but you keep the extra patrol around. I got my purse and briefcase and Luke led me to his truck with his arm tight around me. We were silent on the way there, but once in the driveway I said. "I'll be fine, you can go on home." He got out and opened up my door and reached under the seat and pulled out a handgun saying "Like it or not I'm staying." Inside my dark empty house I was thankful he was. It was twelve O clock as we went through the house as he checked the locks on the windows and doors. He said he would sleep across the hall from me and if I needed him to just call. I got my nightgown and robe from the closet and told him I wanted a hot bath first. There soaking in the tub I felt so relaxed and safe knowing he was there. I could hear him on the phone obviously talking to Lil and he explained I was just shaken up and he was staying with me as long as I needed him to. I either had dozed off a bit or he was off somewhere, I couldn't hear him anymore. I knew he was still there some where. He wouldn't have left me even if I begged him to. He had always been protective of me. I remember even in high school when some punk had gotten smart with me Luke stepped in and gave him a black eye. We weren't even dating then, he told the boy that was no way to talk to a lady and learn it. Soon after we were an item. He always was a gentleman, opening doors and helping me with my coat or books. Anytime I seemed to need him he came to the rescue without being asked. I knew he would always be there for me even if I didn't want him to. I called out "Luke" when he didn't answer I called again, and raised out of the tub some. Just as he came through the door with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate and said. "I'm here darling." I relaxed back into the tub taking the mug he offered and said "Thanks I was afraid you left." "You know me better than that don't you?" I simply nodded and smiled at him he continued. "I love you Kat." "I love you too Luke." There I said it with no hesitancy at all I was glad I did finally. "Thanks for coming after me and being with me." "I told you I always would. I assured Lil you would be fine. She said she would call you in the morning." He chucked my chin looking at the obvious bruise there and said. "I'm sorry this happened I should have been there." "You would have if you had known." There was a scratch on my chest where the knife scraped me. He said there was a bruise on my back. He grinned as he said "I guess you gave him a bruise too where you kicked him." He said it was just luck I got 911 dialed and that the officer on duty said he could hear scuffling in the background before the phone was jerked out. Luckily they had the number locked in and got a quick trace on it. He handed me a towel and left me alone to dry off. As I slipped on my gown I noticed the very plain bruises and I shivered at the thought there could have been worse things. I was getting in bed when Luke came in. He tucked the covers around me and kissed my cheek and told me to call him if I needed him, or couldn't sleep. Then he went across the hall. ' I was tossing and turning trying to sleep when I heard a loud banging noise outside my window. When I heard a loud crash and I screamed I jumped out of bed and ran right into Luke. He told me a cat had just been into the garbage a people out of town." "Are you sure you're up to it?" "No but they are couples I'll be fine." "I wish you wouldn't go not today anyway." "I have to! I'll be fine. If something else comes up I'll call you." I drank my coffee and asked him to take me to my car. Reluctantly he did and asked as I was getting out of the truck. "You be sure and come by the station after you are through, and I'll follow you home." "I will I promise thanks Luke." Before I got to my car he said. "I love you marry me." This went on for two weeks, each afternoon I met him at the station and waited for him to clean up, then he would follow me home. He wouldn't question me when after dinner and our showers that I would ask him to sleep with me, he only obliged. Although I felt it wasn't fair to him to ask him to sleep with me and not make love, he never asked or attempted to make a pass at me. He could always read my mind and knew I wasn't ready for intimacy. Even though I knew I could trust him and the pleasure I would receive I just couldn't. And Luke was man enough and cared enough for me that he didn't care. During the day away from Luke I kept busy and had someone with me at all my showings. I couldn't wait to get back home to the safety I felt there with Luke. When I would awake from my own screams, he was there to kiss me and comfort me. In the mornings when we dressed for work it was always the same questionable statement. "Marry me again Katherine." And it was always the same answer. "I can't Luke I'm afraid. I don't want to make the same mistakes twice." It would end with him following me to work. After the second week the police told us they were stopping the extra patrol. They were confident I had nothing to worry about, and felt he was gone from town. They said his type only wanted to catch someone in an un-secure place and vulnerable. They suggested I not put myself in that type of situation alone again. Considering that would be hard to do in my line of work I agreed. With that I convinced Luke I would be fine and he could go back home. Although he didn't agree, he didn't argue with me he knew it wouldn't do any good. He agreed to go back to Lil's. That night I hardly slept at all. I even picked up the phone several times, but hung up before dialing their number to ask him to come back. Another Wednesday two weeks later I had another client for the warehouse. He too couldn't meet me until the evening. I tried to change the days and time, avoiding a night time meeting, nothing worked. I made the appointment anyway with plans to ask Paul my partner to go with me, but Paul had his own plans Susan also was busy. My contract would soon be up and I hated to loose the sale, it would profit me mega bucks. I checked my watch and it was only two hours away and I was nervous. I picked up the phone and dialed Luke's station. Matt told me he had left early and wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to be disturbed, unless by me. Knowing what he would say if he knew I went alone, I dialed Lil's number. It took a few minutes for him to answer and he sounded fine and cheerful, when he asked "What's up darling?" "I hate to bother you, Matt said you weren't feeling well." "It's just a headache, you'll never be a bother to me. What's wrong?" I explained my problem and he assured me right away "Sure darling I'll be glad to go with you. I don't want you going alone." So we agreed to meet for dinner at six at a small cafe not far from my office. Over dinner he was glad to see I seemed more at ease and was very glad I called him. We left for the warehouse in my car and he drove. I was very nervous to be back there in such a short time and got even more so inside the office. But Luke's assuring strong hand holding mine gave me support. My client never even seemed to notice that I was nervous. He quickly signed the contracts and gave me a down payment, and was anxious to be on his way home. So was I, glad to have this ordeal behind me and the warehouse out of the way so I wouldn't have to worry about selling it again. Outside after he had left I was just standing beside my car looking up at the stars. It was a calm and beautiful night. I felt fine and relaxed and a little high, as I always was after a good sale. I felt the warmth of Luke's arms as they circled my waist and drawed me up against him and he said. "It's beautiful night isn't it?" I faced him and said
"Luke take me home, and make love to me. Make love to me like you love me." "Are you sure you're ready?" "Oh I'm sure, especially with you." And he kissed me long and hard. I got in and shut the car door and he got in and started the car and drove out of the lot. We didn't bother to pick up his truck, but drove straight to my house. As we locked up and hurried to the bedroom we laughed like teenagers. We fell into bed kissing and rolling around like we couldn't get close enough to each other. We pulled off each others clothes and he quickly entered me. I clung to him begging him not to stop and he tried holding off as long as he could, giving me plenty of pleasure. When he couldn't wait any longer he plunged deep inside me and I cried out again in passion as he finished. I let all those fears and pent up frustrations go in the only safe haven I knew I could trust. When we regained our breath it was the same question. I answered "Luke I love you in a lot of ways, but I like my life as it is. I love being with you from time to time. And I don't want to make the same mistake twice." He kissed me and grinned saying. "Soon darling you must make a choice. I won't be just safe sex. I want commitments, and a family. I won't live with my sister the rest of my life. I want you, to wake up with and to go to sleep with." "Just don't pressure me Luke." The next evening I went home alone. On Friday morning I had a delivery of a bouquet of flowers on my desk. The card attached read simply. "I love you, meet me at the cabin tonight, Luke." That afternoon I stopped by to tell him I couldn't be up until Saturday afternoon, but he was all ready gone. I packed my bags and put them in the car to head for the cabin as soon as I finished with my morning appointment. I called Lil's house and she finally answered and assured me Luke was in bed. She said he had come back home after giving up on me coming to the cabin. I asked her to check and be sure for me. A few minuted later his sleepy voice answered "What's wrong darling?" I hurriedly told him about the dream and he said "I'm sorry you had it, but I'm fine. Want me to come over?" I answered no that it was too late. I also explained I had came to the cabin as soon as I could and was sorry to have missed him. I then told him to go back to sleep and we said our goodnight. Just before he hung up I heard him sigh. The next day I was drinking coffee and looking over my bank account statement when there was a knock at the kitchen door. I found Luke standing there he came to see how I was. He was sorry he had given up on me coming to the cabin and sorry I worried about him over the nightmare. I assured him I was just fine now. And he persuaded me into changing and going out for something to eat. Over lunch he asked "Is it that you want to be wined and dined and romanced?" "No! Of course not you should know me better than that. You know I just hate changes. I just enjoy being with you without all of that." "I thought maybe you just wanted the romance part that we didn't take time for before. I thought maybe we could go out dancing or something. Just give me half a chance to win you back and prove to you it won't be like it was before." "I don't need any of that. All I want is time and space to see how it goes." "Not even to go out once in awhile?" "Maybe when I have some free time we can." Back at my house it was like it usually was with us pulling off each others clothes in between kissing. When he finally entered me after lots of foreplay I clung to him and begged him to love me and live with me, without marriage. His only answer was "If you love me like you just acted then you'll marry me again." Instead of answering him I just went down on him until I had him forgetting the situation, until he was in me again. The next morning we were up late and hurried to get ready for work. Before kissing me good-by he asked "Dinner tonight?" "We'll see when I'm free, I'll call you." And he was gone. When I finished up for the day he was already gone home. I picked up Chinese for dinner and went home alone. I did call him later and told him I stopped by looking for him after I finished work. That had been a month and a half and I had been really busy. So had he we barely had time to talk on the phone a few minutes at night. We both were working late to get some things done. Whenever I had time to go by the station he was either gone or busy with a customer. I figured it was just as well we were better off apart. He wasn't happy with the way I wanted things and I wasn't happy with the way he wanted it. And often enough I was reminded of it, when I would drive by the station. I would see him with that blond who was all over him. So I let it come to an end, even if I didn't really want to stay away from him. I knew we were both better off apart. One Friday afternoon things were really slow and I was going over some new submissions and getting them ready for the paper. Susan was gone for the day and I was alone. I looked up to see Luke coming into the office. He had a smile a mile long and a bouquet of red roses and another package. Placing the flowers in an empty vase on the desk he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and said. "Good you aren't busy." He was dres and changed and refreshed my makeup. Returning to my office I could tell he was well pleased with his purchase. When I asked how he managed to get them and the size he assured me he had some help. I didn't have to ask who I knew Lil was behind it. I watered the roses and hated to leave them behind. I locked up the office and we headed for my car. Luke drove out to the next town twenty miles away and we had dinner at a small romantic steak and dance restaurant. Over dinner he talked about work and the future he hoped to build with me. Naturally I didn't have the answer he wanted. After a few dances and me relaxing in his arms he fastened a gold heart around my neck and kissed my lips so tenderly. We danced the night away and when it was time to leave I snuggled against his shoulder and he took me home. We spent the weekend lounging around in bed and making love and watching movies and on Sunday we cooked dinner together. Monday we separated at the parking lot of my office with no commitments for another time. Three weeks had passed and I regretted not taking the time to call Luke, but we both had been busy. I knew he was waiting to hear from me. I felt guilty in some ways I felt I was using him for the attention and security, but cheating him in not giving him more. Lil called me on Wednesday and wanted to meet for lunch. She wanted to talk to me about another property. So over lunch and quiet talk she asked how I was. "You must not be eating well, you've lost weight." "I'm staying busy and I just grab and eat on the run." "There must be a lot of that going on." "How's Gene and Luke? I've called several times and never have got an answer." "Gene's fine. Luke mopes around all the time. When he isn't working he is staying with us. He hasn't found a place yet." "I had some property to show him, but I guess he never got my message." "Oh I think he got it loud and clear. Which is why I'm here." She stopped a minute and then continued. "He doesn't want to buy anything. In fact he's planning on leaving town again." "Why Lil? I thought he liked being here and running the garage." "You know why exactly Katherine. He can't stand being this close to you and have you ignore him. He doesn't want to be a part time lover to you. He either wants to sell the station or have Matt manage it and I'll handle the rest." "He's just bluffing." "No he's not. He ran before, only this time he has no plans to ever return." I nearly choked on my lunch, then I said. "I'm sorry I'll handle it anyway you want." "Then stop him. You're the only one who can." She took her compact from her purse and held it up to me and said. "Look at you. You're as miserable as he is. There's no sparkle in your eyes, no pretty smile, no laughter. I haven't seen it since we were at the cabin." I touched my cheek as I was shocked, by her words of truth and the look on my face, she was right. "But Lil you know how it was before." "Yes but you still loved each other, doesn't that count for something? Life is too short to let one mistake keep you from living instead of existing. I want my children, my baby to have an uncle to look up to and cousins to play with. If he leaves he's never coming back. Don't you see yourself that he was there for you when you needed him and admit it you wanted him to be. I'm pregnant and I want Luke here when his nephew or niece comes. He's the only brother I have and I want you too." "Congratulations Lil." "Well I'm not so happy anymore. Yesterday when I found out I was pregnant I wanted to yell it to the world. This morning when I find out Luke would be gone by the weekend, I wanted to scream and strangle you, I'll buy your lunch, but you fix your life you appointment, or find someone else to take care of it. I wouldn't sit in the waiting area for I had on my best suit. When I went back out to check on Matt Luke was under my hood. I looked around and said "Hi!" He raised his head bumping it on the hood, but he still smiled. After a few minutes he said "I adjusted the choke and idling, it seems to at least do that now. Since you aren't getting gas here, you probably got some bad gas too. Get high octane if not mine. Matt will pump you in some. If it keeps this up we might need to put on a new carb." Matt backed my car up to the pumps and I said. "Would you like to come for dinner tonight? I'd like to show you some property listings." Wiping his hands on a grease rag he answered. "Well darling I would love dinner with you. But forget the property, I don't need it." "It's good land, a good investment." "I'm not worried about that Kat. I'll be gone by Saturday. Matt will take care of your car and the station. I'm flying the coop again." "Are you sure?" "I'm as sure as it's raining." As it just started to. Matt brought my car around and I paid my bill and got in before i got wet. He leaned in asking "How about that dinner?" "I guess there's no point right?" "Right!" He slapped my door frame and walked away. I backed up and as I waited for traffic to clear I saw that blonde. The same blonde who had been flirting with Luke. Matt was pumping gas for her and she ran her hands over his arm, just the same as she had Luke. She took his hand and ran it up her thigh, the same way she had done Luke. Maybe I was wrong about him and she was just flirting with them both. Those words NEVER COMING BACK NEVER kept echoing over and over in my head. I backed my car back up and pulled up in front of the station, and got my coat out of the back and buttoned it up. When I stepped inside I heard glass breaking it came from the office. I could hear him yelling "Dam it I don't care anymore. I'm out of here tonight, pack my bags I'm leaving tonight. I opened the door and could see the mess. He slung papers off his desk and threw his coffee mug at the wall. On his desk was a frame he had busted and a photo of us. He slammed the phone down and his fist into the broken glass. He hadn't noticed me until he heard me say. "Now look at you, cut your hand." I took his hand looking at it. "Let it bleed." "Luke Warner!" He jerked his hand away saying. "I don't care anymore, I can't even fell this glass in the palm of my hand." He held up the other hand and there was a jagged piece sticking out of it. I grabbed his hand and said "Don't be so stubborn, let me get it out." I looked around for an emergency kit and found it and removed the glass and bandaged his hand. Then he asked "Why did you come back anyway. To stab me in the heart again?" With that I started crying and saying. "Don't be so mean to me. I wanted you to come for dinner anyway," he slammed something else against the wall and said. Dam it forget dinner, forget the property. Just leave, please leave. I can't stand you being here." That made me cry harder. I held my head it was killing me, actually so was my heart. But I imagined his was too, He softened up and knelt in front of me saying. "God you know I hate it when you cry, please stop." But I couldn't. He heard customers in the outer part and slammed the door as he said. "It's not enough you're killing me every day. Do you have to come here today, when I plan on leaving again, and do you have to cry too?" "You made me." "Well I'm not sorry really. You know you make me feel like I'm something stuck to the bottom of your shoe sometimes. Other times you make me feel like you really do love was sitting in his chair with his back to me. "Luke please come for dinner." I wiped my eyes and stood up standing behind his chair I continued. "Please! I have another real property to show you." "Forget it!" "It's important Luke, it's perfect." I turned his chair around to face me and his eyes were red and teary . "Please come, it will be different I promise if you don't leave." "How different? I'm not staying here, seeing you in your yard, or driving by here. I won't play mechanic or maintance man for you and have you push me away anymore." I sat down in his lap not caring about the grease and said. "I'm sorry Luke." "Oh God not that too. You said you were sorry." "Luke! I mean it. I'm really sorry I never meant to make you feel that way honest. Don't leave again. I don't want you to fight your feelings anymore.." I got up and said "Come for dinner at seven. We'll talk then." "No we finish this now before you walk away from here. Not later when you can find an excuse to avoid me, Now or never, because I'm still planning on leaving tonight." Catching him off guard I jerked his shirt collar and jerked him toward me. He held up his greasy hands and I shook my head and put his arms around me, mine around his neck. Then I said. "I don't want you to leave, the property is mine. I love you Luke and I don't want you out of my life again. Someone once told me life is too short to let one mistake keep you from living, instead of existing. Let's start over. I guess I never stopped loving you. I just was afraid to admit it until the thought of never seeing you again came up." "Are you sure, you aren't just playing games with me to stop me for the present?" "I promise! I love you and want you near me, beside me again for the rest of our lives." He took my head in both of his hands and looked deep into my eyes and said. "You do mean it don't you?" I only shook my head yes and then he kissed me. We kissed and clung to each other for a long time and then we separated and I said "I'm sorry really, forgive me?" His answer was another kiss. I made a call to Susan and told her to cancel my appointments. I told her something else more important had come up. Hanging up I picked up some of the mess he had made and helped him straighten his desk up and then just sat down. "What's up now darling?" "I'm just waiting for you to finish up and leave with me." "I'll be by later I need to talk to Matt." "I'm not leaving without you, we'll go buy dinner makings, and you aren't leaving town are you?" "Why no darling not now. Not when you've just made the last few years worth while. OK give me a few minutes with Matt and then we'll go shopping." He left me to go find Matt. When he returned he had took off his coveralls and washed his hands. I was surprised to see there was no grease on my clothes but I really didn't care if there had been. We left his truck behind after I handed him my keys. We stopped off at Krogers but before going in we kissed again in the lot. "I love you Luke stay with me. " We bought steaks and breakfast fixings and some junk food. When I asked was there anything else he leaned close and whispered "You!" "Later when I win you back through your stomach." "Darling you never were out of my system. I'll need to get me some clothes for tomorrow before we go home." "We'll get them all right?" "Are you marrying me again, or do you just want my body?" Kissing his cheek I said "Both." We stopped off at Lill's and went inside. She soon had a smile a mile long seeing us with out arms linked around each other. Luke picked up his packed suitcases and said "I told yo have made love to me the way you did, if you didn't still love me a little. And I was trying for the chance to make you love me more." "I guess I never got over you. Even with you gone, I thought of you often and missed you. The house I bought with you in mind. It is the kind of house you always wanted. A good investment you liked. And in the kind of neighborhood we always dreamed about. You taught me well." "And now we can share it." I have had changes of heart and tried to call you several times." "Oh! When darling?" He went through a drive up and ordered chicken with the works, and pulled back out into the street. I continued "At the cabin, I tried to turn around and come back to you. But it was muddy and I was afraid to get stuck in the mud. I waited awhile to see if you were on the way out. It was too far to walk back, as bad as I wanted to. The night of the storm and the black out, I called you, but you were on your way over. After mom's funeral, I called out to you to come back, but it was too late. Other times I dropped by the garage with the idea of properties, and you were out. Other times I saw you with that girl and I didn't stop." "I'm sorry about that. But I told you it was just her flirting." "I know that now. I should have know better anyway, you never were that type, or she wasn't your type either." "I've only had eyes for you all along. I've been miserable without you in my life. Now I feel like a man who had got oxygen, I can breathe now. Now that I know we can be together again.Luke and I were married a few weeks later in a quiet ceremony in a chapel in the mountains with Lillian and Gene as our witiness.Our honeymoon was at a bed and breakfast with a beautiful balcony overlooking the mountains where we watched the sunset. Early the next morning he awakened me and I tried to pull the cover back over my head he urged me to get up for a surprise.Finally I dragged myself out of bed and into his arms where he led me out to the balcony where we curled up in a quilt on the glider and watched the sunrise.Then I knew the beauty momma always longed for in watching sunrises with daddy.There Luke handed me a small package that I quickly opened and squeeled with surprise.It was a gold charm bracelet with a sunrise charm and a rainbow charm.He quickly turned it over for me to read the inscription.as he said"To many sunrises and rainbows darling!"After a long lingering kiss did I remember I had a surprise for him.I pushed away from his arms and pounting face and enetere the room and got some package from my suitcase which I handed to him.First was a gold watch which I turned to read the engravement "Time for sunrises and rainbows" The second package he looked at and held up grinning ear to ear was a pair of pink and blue booties.I explained "I never had time for birth control I hope you don't mind?" "Mind Darling, of course not you have made me the happiest man alive."Then I curled up in those inviting arms as we watched the sun finish rising over the misty mountains with a rainbow behind it. The End