26.5.2009

DUMPSVILLE REVISITED!

    DUMPSVILLE REVISITED!

 http://www.netsaga.is/media/files/Purple%20people%20going%20into%20white.mp3

 

    The following day came round all to quick. The sun was high in the sky and beating it's rays down hard onto Ben's head as he found himself about to enter this dreaded place again. As he entered he remembered just in time to step to his right in order to miss that big hole just at the entrance which he had paid a visit too just last night. Sharon had missed it and as he watched her face he could see the excitement in her eyes, they were sharp and bright, it reminded him of how a child looks when given the chance to take a day trip to the beech or a pleasure park somewhere!

    "Ben love, come upstairs."

    He followed her up the old stairs and found himself in a very large hallway with row upon rows of doors, about sixteen of them to be exact and right at the end of the hallway stood yet another door. Before they reached the far one Sharon insisted on showing him everyone of the sixteen other rooms.

    "As you can see they must all have been guest rooms at one time or another, I think we will use these for our staff, after all it's cheaper on the wage side of things if they live in."

    Ben said nothing as he took a look at all the gigantic oversized rooms. Everyone of them needed a lot of renovation and every time he saw another room the cost in his mind went up and up!

    Finally they had got to the far door and when it was opened it revealed yet another staircase going either down to the floor below or up to another floor. Going up they met another hallway full of cobwebs and now directly in front of him stood another wooden door. Shaz opened this one and instantly he stood in what looked to be a lounge, then he walked through a small hallway and on his left was a bathroom, opposite was a kitchen and at the end of this hallway stood a rather large bedroom.

    "This is going to be our living area!" She announced feeling all full of the joys of spring even though it was the height of summer.

    There was no joys of spring from her husband, "What in here? We can't live in here! It's too small to eat, sleep and wash in."

    She had trouble to see what the hell he was on about as he flung his arms around in a mad fit of anger. Then she understood for he was thinking in two dimensions, not three! "No silly! All this floor is ours!"

    Ben stopped his mad fit and fetched her a look, "All of it?"

    "Yes all of it, did you think that I was going to have you live in the room alone?"

    "Well, yeah."

    She walked on over and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "I know it needs a lot of refurbishment but when it is done it will be one heck of a place to live in."

    Ben watched her walk on over and examine one of the walls. He was just beginning to see why she had fallen in love with this place. He too walked over and decided to open one of the three windows in here and as he forced it open the whole frame wobbled which served to alert his brain to something. "Er, Shaz I think this window needs a little firming up due to a little loose brickwork."

    He then looked out of it to spy something down in the yard "Wow! This place has a garden shed."

    "Yes it does, okay so the courtyard is a little small and it doesn't get a lot of sun thanks to all the large blocks of flats and an ugly car park at the back, but it's okay isn't it?"

    "No Shaz it's great! We can put a few tools in it and I can learn how to do a bit of gardening. I've always wanted to do that!"

    Sharon walked over to the window and giving it an almighty whack with her foot she was happy to see that the frame had stayed put, "See! Solid as a rock or as safe as houses or I could say...."

    "Okay, okay! I stand corrected, I?m sorry its fine," he said as he raised his palms outwards to concede defeat and also to prove he was sincere he sat down on the frame.

    Now with her husband in submission she turned and carried on with her inspection for damp or other nasties that could be lurking in some of these walls.

    Ben watched her examine the walls as he continued to sit on the window seal and then he felt the earth move! Actually it was the whole window frame as it decided to detach itself from the wall.

    "Er, Shaz? Whaaaaaaaaaa!"

    "What honey?" she turned around to see that the room was empty, "Typical man! Always walks away when you are about to tell them something important!"

    "Whaaaaaaaaa!" (CRASH!) "Great! The shed broke my fall," Ben mumbled and as he did he heard a little cracking sound and then the shed roof gave way and he fell through that as well. As he hit the shed floor he must have passed out for a short while and when he came round he swore he could hear voices, no a voice, now what was it saying to him?

    "Hey man! Are you okay? Speak to me buddy!"

    Ben opened his eyes and everything was spinning! The voice continued.

    "Wow what a fall! Stunt man are you? You could say that you have been framed! Ha, ha, ha!"

    The shed was pretty dark even though it now had a nice big hole in it, either that or Ben was dying? No he wasn't finished yet. "Where are you? I can't see who I'm talking too?"

    Just then a face appeared!

    "Ahh!" Ben screamed!

    This startled the man, "What, what?"

    "Sorry you scared me."

    "Why? Cause I'm black? You were expecting a white man? You are in shock, take this it'll help you."

    The stranger unwrapped from a few pages of newspaper a bottle of whiskey. He then unscrewed the top and handed it to Ben. Ben in turn took a few good swigs.

    "Boy that's good stuff for shocks, after all you scared the hell out of me as much as I scared the hell out of you. The one minute I was sleeping here all quiet like until you woke me up with a bang and a half!" After saying this he pulled this young man up into a

sitting position and also helped get rid of the few remaining pieces of wood from off him. "You are lucky not to have broken anything."

    "My name is Ben and you are?"

    "Clive."

    "Pleased to meet you Clive."

    Clive was of afro Caribbean origin. He was in his forties, slightly greying and the lines on his face told a story of hardship from living rough.

    After handing him back his bottle, Ben decided to ask him a few questions "So how come you live in here?"

    "This my friend is my home, or was until this happened," he said as he pointed his whiskey bottle in the general direction of the gaping square like hole in the shed roof. "I am what you would call a tramp or vagrant, the scum of society today. Believe it or not but I used to live in that building until the owner shut it down., Then it was out, no job, no fixed abode and worst of all no income! The D.H.S.S. gave me a small room in a run down bed sit which believe me was no better than sleeping out in the gutter. So that's what I did, I moved out and have been sleeping in gutters ever since.

    Just as Clive had finished recounting his tale of woe, the shed door opened and one Sharon appeared, "Oh there you are! Come on we have to go and see the builders and get them to make a start on renovating this place. Who the hell are you?" She asked as her brain had just registered a third party to this conversation.

    Ben got the answer out first, "Shaz this is Clive, he lives here."

    "Did! This place is mine and we don't like tramps here so you had better move your butt or there will be trouble!"

    Clive had heard this kind of talk many times before and as he was not a trouble maker he said "Don't worry lady I'm out of here."

    Ben helped him up to his feet and said to him, "There is no rush, take your time."

    He eyed this young man in front of him and decided the pity vote that he had cast was not needed, "No man, it is time I moved on and maybe one day I can find a place that I can call home. I'll just get my things."

    Sharon stayed long enough to watch that tramp leave.

    As they walked to the car Ben had to get one thing from off his chest "Sharon you could of shown some sympathy on him and let him stay for a few more days."

    "Sorry but no! You give them a little sympathy and before you know it you can't get rid of them and then they are bleeding you dry. Now hurry up we have got to be at the builders in ten minutes!"

    With nothing else worth saying Ben hurried on to the builders with Sharon.

    The builder turned out to be an architect and his office was way up on the fiftieth floor of a very large and very posh building near Baker Street. The guy wore a dark

mauve suit, cream shirt with a spotted tie, he had gold jewellery around his neck, wrists and even one bracelet around his ankle!

    "Pleased to meet you again Miss Sharon." He yelled from across the floor and soon was running over to gobble up the large gap between the trio. All to soon he had arrived and proceeded to greet Miss Sharon by kissing her on her hand.

    Ben thought to himself that those black shoes and white socks that he was wearing did not go with the rest of his suit, in fact the man within the suit didn't match anything in this universe. He was an oddity like the suit which he must have purchased from an old charity shop somewhere. Then to his horror this short man had noticed him.

    "You must be Mister Ben, how pleased I am to make your acquaintance!" Then the small purple peril proceeded to kiss Ben's hand! He was too shocked to pull it away. When the guy had finished he walked on over to his rather grand looking desk with it's models of various buildings decked out upon it.

    It was when that funny feller was out of hearing range Ben mumbled under his breath, "Definitely a poof."

    "Do please come and sit down. I am extremely delighted that you have decided to pick me to design the interior and exterior of your four storey building and here are the plans that I have made regarding your renovation!" He then picked up a remote control and after pressing a few buttons a curtain opened up behind him to reveal a gigantic screen and on the screen was a computer image of the outside of Sharon's building but it wasn't Sharon's building for it was too smart looking to be it!

    Ben was surprised but not for the grandiose way the building was displayed on that big screen, no he was surprised to find that this building had a forth floor! And so was Sharon.

    "Excuse me, but did you say we have a forth storey?"

    He turned around from gazing at the big screen to answer his clients question, "Yes luvvy you have the top floor which I believe is going to be your living quarters, then you have your servants quarters on the next floor down. The ground floor is your shop floor and kitchens and the lower ground floor is where your cellar is."

    "A cellar?"

    "Yes Mr Ben, your building used to be a brewery and it was there that they used to store the beer and then it became a restaurant and wine was stored down there. For a while it was a large bed and breakfast place and then finally it became an exclusive restaurant stroke club and now it is to become a coffee shop!" He announced and then proceeded to clap his hands together with great enthusiasm for this exciting project that he was about to embark on.

    "Wow a cellar! I'd sure like to see that!" Shaz announced and she too clapped her hands together with the same enthusiasm.

    Then all too soon they found themselves back at the old place staring at the old cellar. It was cold and musty smelling. The thin row of lights led them on into its heart, every so often there would be a thick brick arch way which looked like an arch from one of those old looking railway bridges, there was a total of eight of these and to the left and right of the arches stood rows upon rows of wine bottle holders. Some still had a few bottles left in them.

    Ben pulled a real dusty one out and after scraping away the dust he managed to read the label in this dim light, "Ah house red of nineteen seventy four. Not a chateau le feat but still it's old and that must count for something. Mind you on hind sight it has probably turned into vinegar by now." So he placed it back in the place from whence it came.

    "Well Miss Sharon?" Said the purple suited guy who still had not given Ben his name. "We will have to discuss what you would like to do with this area. As for the first floor I can make the adjustments you require, but the floor boards will have to be completely changed over due to dry rot and that also goes for the reception area."

    "Does that mean that my marble floor in the dining room will have to go?"

    "No, no! That's as solid as a rock this cellar holds all of that up. We can fully restore the marble flooring and the pillars to their former glory, in fact in just over six weeks time this whole place will look brand new!" The short guy once again clapped his hands with sheer delight.

    All of this hand clapping was starting to wear a little thin on Ben as he observed his wife do the same before she asked, "Great! So when can you and your friends start?"

    "The builders are in at first light tomorrow."

    Then Ben out of sheer sarcasm clapped his hands together and said "Great! Then I can head back to the island."

    "Oh no you don?t. You are staying here. I'm not letting you go back to play with your friends. I have got work for you to do." Sharon replied as she fixed him with a very hard stare.

    It was at this point that Ben had a bad feeling about this place for he knew that when ever Sharon gave you a look like she just had then it was not a good sign.