26.5.2009

WITH A HOP AND A BUILDING SKIP AND A VAN?

    WITH A HOP AND A BUILDING SKIP AND A VAN?

http://www.netsaga.is/media/files/ama.mp3
 

    Next morning came and work began very early and it was also very noisy and extremely dirty. Skips were placed out onto the main road which caused a little chaos at rush hour, but still nothing that the average London motorist driving through Camden could not handle. It was the unsuspecting cyclist who was concentrating on not getting run over that failed to look ahead and see the bright yellow skip, he crashed into it and did a beautiful summersault that young budding gymnasts would have been proud of to have preformed. He ended up landing head first into a pile of dirt and rubble. That caused the biggest concern of the early morning. As the morning progressed on, the skips started to get filled up at an alarming rate and many times collections were made to take the full ones away and bring in fresh empty ones.

    Ben stood at the entrance and looking through the now open double doors he could watch as the fifty strong workmen dismantled this place from top to bottom. That poofy architect was there standing Ben?s wife and they were fussing over some plan or other and every so often they would both squeal with delight, clap their hands and now just to make things even worse they would both raise their left legs backwards. In fact it reminded him of what the late Larry Grayson would do on his comedy tours. He didn't mind Mr Grayson doing it for that to him was funny! But for Shaz and this Gordon guy to do it was not funny at all, it just made him want to be sick. Not only that but this short weird guy was wearing a bright yellow suit with an orange tie with glasses and socks to match along with yellow shoes! Is it vomit time? I think it is unless he left them to it and found something useful to do.

    Ben made his way round to the back and asked one of the builders if he could be of any use, the builder in turn pointed out the foreman who was a big broad shouldered man who could have been the exact twin to the late John Wayne.

    "Excuse me Mr Foreman Sir. I was wondering if I could be of any use?"

    The big man eyed him up and down, then making a terrible sound in his throat he suddenly spat out something which made Ben jump back about three foot. He then spoke, "Son this is a mans? job and it requires skilled men, dedicated men and very brave men and it's all these qualities that you do not posses, so just step back and let us do our work!"

    What a cheek! Ben was not going to let this man get away with that! Now stepping back in the big man's way he firmly said, "Surely there is something I can help you with?" Okay not so firm.

    "Well Son you look like the type of person who won't leave me alone until I give you a job, am I right?"

    "Well, yeah!" Ben replied now feeling a sense of victory wash over him.

    The foreman let out a broad smile and said "Well, okay!" He then slapped the small man on the back as a sign of friendship.

    Ben in turn found himself on the floor! He managed to get up straight away even though he had lost all feeling in his back.

    "Son I am going to give you the most rewarding of all jobs. Now go on over to that tent and make us all a nice cup of tea!"

    "Yes Sir!" Ben said all pleased with himself until he got halfway to the tent and realised that he had to now make fifty mugs of tea. But he had no choice, so off he went into that tent cursing and swearing under his breath about that foreman, about his wife and mostly about that gay bloke who was apparently called Gordon Gray, well that is what one of the workmen had overheard him say to someone on his mobile phone. Could well have been, hello I?m Gordon and I?m gay.

    After about four rounds of tea Ben was bored so going out of the tent he went off and found Sharon who was in her own dream world, she was just stood there wide eyed and staring at the ground.

    "Yo! Shaz! Hello! Anyone in?" he said as he tapped her on the head.

    "Oh, hello love! I was just imagining this place all done up, it's going to look great!"

    He had to agree, "Yeah it's going to look like one real posh coffee shop."

    "Club!"

    "No, that is a chocolate biscuit. I think the word you are looking for is shop."

    "Ben, I am going to make a coffee club! We will serve coffee and teas with a selection of sandwiches and homemade style cakes during the day and then in the evening we will be a restaurant!"

    There was that crazy look again!

    "A restaurant? Shaz hold on, all you are used to cooking is bangers and mash! How are you going to cook posh foods?"

    "I won't! We will get in a chef and also we will pay out for experienced waiters."

    "Ur, this is all starting to sound very expensive," He argued as he saw the thousands upon thousands of notes flash before his eyes!

    Shaz could see his worried expression on that round face of his. Placing an arm around his shoulders she tried to lay a warm blanket of comforting words over the coldness of his fears, "Trust me, we shall recoup all of our money."

    It didn't work...

    "Yeah right! I'm sure the coffee shop will pay off this debt in about a thousand years!"

    "No my dear husband the Island coffee shop will pay for itself and will be a separate entity. You forget that the money from the sale of the house will pay for all the work here and also to help us out a little with the finances for this place I have invested in this!"

    Ben hadn't realised but while he was arguing the point over this place, he had actually walked through it to find himself out the front and looking in the general direction to where his wife was now pointing, "What? A skip full of rubbish?"

    She gave one of her nervous giggles before saying, "No silly!" Then she yanked hold of his arm and pulled him round the skip.

    There standing in the road with a parking ticket on it was a red van and not just any red van for it had writing on the side of it.

    Ben read out the words, "Big Ben's mobile coffee shop. That's great! So how did you pay for this?" He was now really worried about the expense.

    "I paid for it out of last years profits from our island caff."

    "So, you and I are going to drive around London in that thing and try to pick up passing trade?" He had forgotten about arguing over the last years finance thing as the fresh grip of fear had got to him along with the fear of loosing control over his life!

    Shaz continued oblivious to this man's fears, "Yeah like for instance lay byes, airports, railway stations and many other places, oh and it will not be you and I. It will be just you."

    This was now that fresh fear he had felt! "Me! But, but......"

    "I have to stay here and get this place up and running."

    "But, but, can't we take it in turns?"

    "No darling, this little van is my gift to you."

    Come on Ben get out of this his inner voice pleaded to his brain, his brain was trying! "But, but I can't cook! I'm no good at making sandwiches!"

    She had him on this argument and now to finish it off, "You will learn. Now I heard earlier that you were bored, so go on get out and about in your van and I will see you tonight!"

    Ben was loosing his cool and through clenched teeth he said, "Right! Fine! I will see you back at the hotel."

    "I will see you back here, I've checked us out of the hotel to save money and tonight we will spend our first night together in our new flat."

    He was going nuts! She did say she was spending the night here in this death trap?

    "Now go on out there and earn us some money." She urged her gob smacked husband as she placed the keys into his open hand and then proceeded to walk over to her club.

    He watched her walk away. Now in a fit of rage he turned to the van, kicked it's wheel, opened it up got inside hit the ignition which in turn started up the engine. Putting it into gear he put his foot down and wheel spun the van out of there to the sound of cans of drink and packets of crisps falling off the shelves!

    As Sharon watched her husband speed off in a fit of anger she felt Gordon slide up besides her.

    "Your husband is not a happy chappie is he?"

    She felt a slight pang of guilt rest in her heart, "No. You can't blame him, he was settled on the island, had many friends and family. Then we got married and I decided to take him away from it all, to bring him here."

    "Well Miss Sharon I am sure he will be a lot happier when your building is complete and you can settle down in peace." Then Gordon changed the subject, "Now don't look so sad! I have this here to show you, now close your eyes and don't peak!" He pulled out from a large box a rather big object. "Now open your eyes."

    Sharon opened her eyes and viewed the item that Gordon was now holding in his hands, "Wow that's nice! What is it?"

    "It's an indoor fountain! I thought that this would look marvellous on the wall of the dining room,. It's made of fibre glass but as you can see it looks just like real stone!"

    "That's very nice and thank you," Shaz replied not at all convinced that other people would mistake a piece of shaped fibre glass as stone.

    Gordon could see that although grateful for this gift, she was not entirely sure if people would mistake it for the real thing, so he said, "Come on luvvy let me show you where it will go and if you think the idea sucks then we will come up with a far, far greater one to go in this magnificent building."

    This had served to win Sharon's heart over and restore the twinkle in her eyes.

    Gordon too saw this and knew what was coming.

    Then both of them looked at each other and yelled out "Whaooow!" Then clapped hands and raised their left ankles at the same time!