26.5.2009

STILL AT AIRPORT!

 

 

 

    STILL AT AIRPORT!

http://www.netsaga.is/media/files/midnightASIO.mp3

 

    Ben found out to his cost exactly what Clive meant about low flying planes! Every time one took off or landed the shelves would collapse to send all their goodies over the floor and of course him. Also what realy got up his nose was that dam Clive was spot on about the location and to make matters worse the guy kept pulling open the little talk hole which separated the front from the back of the van to ask, "Got any customers yet?" When Ben replied in the negative way he would say, "Oh, too bad, too bad." Then slide the shutter closed again. Now picking up the same packets for the eighteenth time he decided to shut up shop. Walking round and into the front of the van he caught Clive taking another swig from a small bottle of whiskey. "Don't drink in my cab okay."

    Clive took the hint and screwed the cap back on, "Okay man no problems. So, giving up for the day?"

    "Yeah, I have to face it, I'm no good at this."

    "You can, it's just you have been going to the wrong places."

    "Oh and I suppose you know all the right ones?" Ben asked all sarcastic like, he had had enough of people telling him what to do lately.

    "Yeap!" Clive replied turning into the eye of this man?s storm of rantings.

    A deathly silence fell in the cab before Ben challenged him, "Well are you going to show me or not? Instead of just sitting there all quiet like."

    Clive would but not without one certain concession, "I'll show you, if you will allow me to drink in the van."

    "No way!"

    "Okay, then you can sit there and make zero money and when you go home to tell your wife about it, you can spend a second night sleeping out on the concrete or in the van with me cuddling up to you. Take your pick."

    Ben chewed it over and didn't want to envisage himself sleeping with Clive. "Okay, okay, you may drink in the van."

    Clive loved it when people gave in to reason. "Right head into Camden, to New Mount Street and pull up right outside the building site."

    So Ben did! They opened up the van and just sat there.

    "What?s the time?" Asked Clive.

    "Twenty past one." Ben muttered feeling just plain fed up with waiting.

    Clive opened up the door, "Right, we have ten minutes to cook up those hamburgers!" he jumped out and headed towards the back.

    High up two builders looked down to see one burger van.

    "Hey Archie! Do you see what I see?"

    "Yeah mate a burger van."

    "Do you feel how I feel?"

    "I sure do! Boy, cooked greasy food sure beats jam sandwiches."

    "Good eight minutes before that whistle blows, lets make our way down, get ahead of the crowd."

    Down on terra firma Ben and Clive heard the whistle blow. "Okay Ben are the burgers ready?"

    "Yeah!"

    "First wave of chips fried?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Cans of drink fully chilled?"

    "Yes!"

    "Then get ready to take some serious cash!" Clive shouted and witnessed a mass rush to their humble van. For forty minutes all hell broke loose as row upon rows of hungry men were fed with burgers, chips and cola. After the crowd had gone Clive smiled at Ben before announcing, "Right lets get packed stocked up and head towards the football ground for round two. Special charity tournament on!"

    Outside the football ground trade was brisk before and absolutely ridiculous after! Clive leaned up against the mini freezer and after wiping the sweat from off his forehead with a bit of kitchen paper he said, "See Ben, I told you these football supporters would be very hungry. You see, if their team looses they eat through their defeat and if they win they eat through their triumph!"

    "Clive buddy you are amazing! We have sold out of nearly everything! Thanks man."

    He appreciated the thank you, "Well at least you can give me a high five!"

    Both men responded by doing a high five followed by a low five and a mini dance around the van, they only stopped when the top shelf collapsed raining cans on top of them once again.

    They arrived back at the club about six and were in high spirits. Both ran up the stairs along the hall and up another set of steps and into the flat, then skidded to a halt when faced with a rather large bloke sitting in the lounge. He was wedged between one of those leather chairs of Sharon's.

    "Hello I'm Ben and this is my friend Clive," Ben said as a reflex more than anything else.

    "Hello I'm Bernard, I'm a guest here."

    Ben felt a nervous ripple run through him and it sounded by his next response, "Right, or course you are, Sharon!"

    Sharon came from the kitchen to find her husband, "Ben your late! We were meant to be at my Auntie's about an hour ago. Where were you?"

    At least she was speaking to him now. "I was with Clive. He helped me out and with his experience we found some real cool places to sell food and guess what?"

    "What?"

    "We've sold out of burgers, chicken, chips and nearly out of cola!" He said allowing the excitement trickle through.

    Upon hearing this news Sharon squealed with excitement and rushing over she gave her husband a big hug. "That's the best news I've had all day, well done love!"

    After receiving the hug he still had one burning question, "So what?s this about guests?"

    How was she going to explain this? "Ah, Bernard here reserved a room with ourselves about fifteen years ago and he has come to stay with us for a few weeks."

    "Yes, you see I'd fallen in love with the place and wished to revisit it some day. I picked a time and here I am!"

    Ben was going to say something about the time it took for him to come back, but was disturbed by Gordon rushing in. "Here?s your dinner Bernard and it is a lot newer than fifteen years!" It was a plate full of bangers and mash. Ben wondered where this man had managed to get a bright pink apron with large yellow spots from along with a pair of fluffy pink slippers. He knew better than to ask. "Shaz, I was wondering if my friend Clive could be our guest as well?"

    "What? A tramp under my roof, no way!" Shaz said in such a firm manner as to let her husband know he was not to pursue this.

    Ben knew that tone in her voice which read leave this conversation alone, which he wasn't going to do for he had an ace up his sleeve. "Okay! Well, how about in the shed, oh, except we haven't got a shed anymore, all we have is a big hole in its place!" He wanted to smile at the sheer amount of sarcasm he placed into that last piece of sentence. He could also see his wife squirm.

    "Er, yes, you see I honestly didn't know this but I signed a form giving Gordon permission to build a patio."

    Advantage Ben! Just a little more turning of the screw, "Well that's just great! Tell me how many more pieces of paper have you unknowingly signed giving Gordon permission to wreck other people's dreams?"

    The air was suddenly getting very tense in there so Gordon walked round to where Clive and Bernard were and suggested that they leave very quickly and as quietly as possible in order not to be shouted at. It was at this point Bernard pointed out something that could spoil their plans, "Excuse me gentlemen, I would like to get out of here but I can't move. I'm stuck!"

    "Great! Just great!" Clive cursed as both men started to pull frantically on this big man's arms trying to free him whilst in front of them an argument was going on. While they were pulling the air suddenly became full of two people shouting out "Deal!" Both Gordon and Clive looked around to see that Ben and Sharon were staring at them with weird spooky smiles on their faces. In the shock of that they both let go of Bernard?s arms sending him falling back into the chair again and once more stuck.

    Ben spoke, "Okay Clive you can stay as compensation for one missing shed."

    Clive responded, "Gee that?s great!" And was cut off by the Queen of icy tones.

    "On one condition!"

    "And that is?"

    "I do not want you drinking on my property is that clear?"

    Clive had to think this though and came back with the answer, "It's a deal lady!" After all having a warm room, a place where you could wash along with a nice comfy bed was far better than a shot of whiskey to get you through the night.

    Sharon now asked, "Can I trust you three to behave properly while my husband and I go off to visit my Aunties?"

    "Yes Miss Sharon, you can trust me to keep these two men out of trouble." Gordon replied still grovelling from earlier.

    Bernard backed them up with,"Absolutely!"

    Clive chose just to nod and smile like a saint.