26.5.2009

TOUGH DECISIONS MAKE A MAN?

 

 

    TOUGH DECISIONS MAKE A MAN?

http://www.netsaga.is/media/files/Ljosahlatur.mp3
 

    "Look Sharon I?m sorry, they were uncomfortable."

    "This is a high class restaurant and hotel on it?s opening night and you had to pull a stunt like this?"

    "It was no joke. They just fell open like this?"

    Sharon looked at her husband?s impression of what he had been doing feeling no more comfort now than before. "In front of the Mayor, his wife and his two young daughters!"

    Boy was she angry! He could tell not just by her shouting, it was also the way her face matched the colour of her dress. Bright red.

    "I?m sorry! I told you I had a problem with those boxer shorts. I wouldn?t of done what I did if I knew that someone was going to beat me to pressing the lift button."

    She was wearing a hole in that nice new carpet they had purchased for their lounge with her constant pacing. In fact the angry girl?s tights looked like they were smouldering under the friction of two legs rubbing slightly together. Finally she spoke up again with fire and venom, "It?s not just boxer shorts you have an irritating problem with is it?"

    Was this argument changing tact like a tornado? What could he say, just this I suppose, "What do you mean?"

    "How about your sock problem."

    "My what?"

    "You know! When you get undressed for bed and you take your cheesy smelling socks off, you proceed to wave them about above your head, so as to get air between them and in so doing stink the room out." This was said with a graphic demonstration and hard looks.

    Well, if he was going to get blown about here, best to go down fighting. "What about you, your just as bad with your underwear."

    "I don?t know what you mean."

    "Your knickers. You do exactly the same. You wave those proudly above your head like a lady fan at a Tom Jones concert!"

    "Okay mister shirt stains."

    "That?s alright misses body odour bra."

    Both were getting into the realms of stupidity with this fight just like the accident that had caused this was a stupid misunderstanding. Both Ben and Sharon were glaring at each other making no other noises except the cogs in their brains trying to figure out how to go one step further in the rude stakes.

    Shaz finally calmed down first. "Okay, okay, we could argue about this until were are blue in the face."

    "Red in your case." Ben mumbled.

    "What?"

    He changed tact like that storm of his wife?s had done. "What can I do? It?s not like I can go on over there and walk up to them, say sorry and hand over two bunches of flowers." Then as he finished what he was saying he caught her look. "Oh no," was all he finished with as his back was definitely against the wall.

 

    Ben woke several times in the night and what seemed to be the twentieth time he decided he couldn?t sleep. He had tried that very night to go on over and apologise and when he finally dragged up the courage it left him as he rang the bell. Running he hid round the corner as it opened up and all he could hear was the mayor?s wife complaining about perverts and now nuisance callers.

    When he had got a little sleep they were all nightmares. It was all connected to being naked. This time he was stark naked in this very hotel and worse of all, wherever he went he just couldn?t find any clothes or coverings to use. He confronted his wife about this and she still had her angry eyes and red face.

    "Oh dear, can?t find any clothes, best start getting used to these!"

    He screamed and ran out of the building and onto the street where many laughed at him and taunted his small bits. But what was worse was that man came up with the dog taking him for a walk and as the bloke laughed his dog took a swift bite of the dangling sausage.

    "WHAAAAAAAAA!" No trying sleeping after that! Mind you Sharon was up chucking everywhere again, must have been that bottle of Vodka she took to bed with her.

    Serves her right Ben thought to himself wondering if to give alcoholics anonymous her name and address. Now that would make good headlines! Husband a known flasher and his wife the drunk. Then again he felt sorry for her, he had done a stupid thing and she was going back to her roots, well the roots he knew when he first met her. She was always on the bottle, a lost sheep going to night clubs and raves, ending up with one man after another. Then she found him and chased him literally round the place until he finally found the good lost girl inside. A little girl frightened of the world, who had lost everything and was reacting in the only way she knew how. It had been hard work, she looked so beautiful lying there and being sick into a bowl. Taking that last thought with him, he decided to go on down and face this sick world ready to take him apart.

    Shaz heard him slam the bedroom door before going out the front door. The way he closed that gave her the impression of his mood as the echo reverberated around this room, before slamming her head very much like a basket ball player would dunk a ball through the hoop. Shaz too felt guilty after she had slammed the bedroom door in his face after he had bolted in in that knock and run incident. At that point in time her life was a ruin and all had been a waste of time. But after today?s incident with the bath and bowl, she was convinced that the Coffee Club would pull through this and her husband could do the job in hand.

    The day was already happening for many people who helped to run the Coffee Club. Bernardo was already planning this evenings cuisine after a rave review on the local radio this morning, though he didn?t understand the flasher in the pan joke. His morning staff were laying out the breakfast things and sorting out the ones who wanted it in bed. At six, those who wanted breakfast on the staff side would be assembling in a few minutes for their food.

    Tiffany was up and about quickly this morning in her new role. She was making sure her morning staff were laying out the breakfast things in the correct way. Sam had come down and was to Tiffany?s surprise laying the tables in the correct way. She didn?t seem herself. She had heard of the Chang incident and when he turned up for nosh, he was sporting a big bruise round his nose. He declined a trip up the hospital like she knew he would and so the chump now looked like a panda bear with a sore head. In fact it was turning out to be a weird day as reports came through about her Boss mister Ben flashing in the lift along with a very tired sounding Mayor insisting the family has breakfast in bed this morning. This was nothing out of the ordinary you would say, but he asked specifically for a female member of staff and no management. She would undertake this job.

    "Good morning miss Tiff?ur...Lampshade," said a large guy with a really friendly smile upon his face. It was Bernard.

    "You can call me Tiffany, mister Bernard sir," She replied feeling herself warm to the guy.

    "Then you must agree to just call me Bernard, if you like that is."

    He was leaving these words hanging in the air, tempting her to take him up on his offer. Tiffany felt she would oblige. "Yes I would like that very much."

    Bernard smiled, she smiled and Chang thought to himself, what the hell is going on today? Then again, any distraction from his impending meeting with his Godfather would be a welcome relief. Oh blast! His thoughts had wandered back to concrete and meetings. He always knew this conference was destined to come and he wished he had thought up some good lies to tell his father. Time staying here was definitely not on his side. He took his cloth and thrust his index finger hard into the bees wax making a large hole in the centre of the tub he was holding. This showed up the frustration he was feeling over having his back against the wall, not knowing which way to turn. He could convince Chino that this place was a centre of fraud and could be a threat to his superiority, another menace to the great ?Triand?. The other way was even harder to do, tell the guy that he wanted to leave. Yeah good idea as you find yourself either splatted somewhere or encased in some rapid drying substance. Still with the latter he could become a pillar of support to the community! Not very funny on hindsight.

    The tell Chino it was a threat came up again and this still didn?t help as Chino would storm the place and either shut it down or take it over. This would be a tragedy to his friends here. Friends? When has he had any friends? Strange things were happening to him, very strange. Thinking about strange things he noticed Samantha making a cautious move his way. He lowered his head just pretending he hadn?t seen her as he vented some of his frustration on this wooden table with his cloth.

    "Um," she said as she tried to get Chang?s attention. The guy kept his head down, so she asked him, "How?s your head?"

    He had to give it to the girl, she is persistent. "Fine!" he replied as he kept his eyes firmly to the task of polishing this surface till he could see his panda eyes in it.

    "Look, I know you didn?t accept my apology last night. I was hoping you would be gracious enough to accept it today."

    Even though the sight of her made his stomach turn, Chang decided to speak to her with a civil tongue in the hope she would leave him in peace.

    "Lady I have had plenty of smacks to the face in my time. This one is no different, so just leave it, as you said it was an accident. All is cool, very cool."

    Sam was standing there with her left foot pointing to the right one, much like a school girl who was unsure how to handle this. "You don?t believe it was accident. You think I did it on purpose."

    He couldn?t believe it either! He had just spoken to her in a nice way, lack of the friendly bit accepted, but here she was throwing all this in his face. "Lady, um Sam. I believe you, now can we just drop the subject."

    This turned out to be wrong for Chang as Sam started getting all emotional and come to think of it, personal. "Look if I had seen you I wouldn?t have hit you. It was an accident?" At this point Chang was trying to get a word in but had to give up as the girl carried on, "You bad boys are all alike. Always looking to make others suffer, by telling lies and physically hurting them."

    Chang stopped his polishing and stared hard at her. Give her nine marks out of ten for effort here, but here argument was a little on the lame side. If she wanted a frank discussion on the matter here it comes!

    "Shut the hell up! Leave me alone. I don?t need your sympathy. I don?t need you. You are a pain in the arse. Every time I see you, you make my stomach turn. In fact if I never see you again in my life that would be too soon. Just leave me in peace, go and torment another and see if you can bash their eyes out!"

    Silence fell again over the place as both persons eyes each other and the others didn?t even breathe in the thick air here. Something had to break and it certainly wasn?t Chang.

    Sam faltered and left in floods of tears, running past the three Bob?s who had turned up for breakfast. They went after the fleeing girl. Tiffany who had remind gob smacked came round with a loud bellow at her staff to get on with things as she marched over to Chang. Before she got there Ben came flying through the doors.

    "Tiffany, seen the Mayor?"

    She turned and replaced her frown with a smile, "No sir. He called before going out on an early morning jog to inform me that he requires breakfast in bed."

    "Right! I?ll take it up."

    "Sorry Sir, no can do."

    Ben took a large step back, "No? What do you mean no?"

    "With all due respect, the Mayor requested a female to take up his breakfast."

    This was all too much for the small man who shouted out, "Of all the?blast!" Before marching out of there.

    Tiffany turned her attentions to Chang then cursed under her breath as miss Sharon called out her name while blatantly ignoring her husband. Tiffany in turn placed that scowl away and smiled at her boss before asking, "What is up with your husband this morning?"

    Sharon sighed, "Oh it?s a long story, probably all over the papers. Anyway to cut a long story short he is in a very bad mood."

    "Oh, I wish I?d know."

    "Well, to help you and fellow staff members it is like an old saying. Red sky at night shepherds delight, red sky in the morning shepherd?s warning. In my husbands? case it is; red eyes at night he will sleep alright. Red eyes in the morning, he?s in a bad mood that?s your only warning." Placing a brief consoling hand on Tiffany?s shoulder she held it there for a few seconds before walking off to the kitchen.

    Clive awoke to find the sun bellowing through his curtains. Was it really seven o?clock? Oh well best get up and get ready for the day ahead. But first off, have a drink! That?ll get the old body flowing smoothly into gear. Placing both feet firmly on the ground he then turned to spy the beautiful brass old fashioned bed stand he had in here. Going the top of his brass bed he pulled one of big brass knobs off, the one on the right hand side. Once free he pulled it upwards and attached to it was a piece of string, on the end of the string was not one but seven mini bottles of whiskey.

    "Ah sweet liquor!" He exclaimed as he detached the lowest one before placing all the other bottles back where they came from. No one would ever find them in there. He found himself a glass and was just about to finish pouring himself one, when he noticed a photo. It was a bit cracked up and brown round the edges. Yet the person in the picture could not be mistaken.

    "Oh Gloria, I love you," was all he said as he placed the bottle in the bin and poured the drink down the sink.

    Sharon entered the kitchen to find that the hustle and bustle of kitchen life was still. A girl was crying and Bernardo through his translator along with the three Bob?s were all trying to comfort her.

    "What?s going on here?" She asked leaving these words of authority hanging as all turned round, some jumping a little.

    "It?s Samantha!" Replied Bob ?A?.

    "She?s upset," Bob ?B? replied.

    "Chang had a go at her!" Followed Bob ?C?.

    "Humaning terms of flatulence expresso in smells," Bernardo came out with as he waved his arms about.

    "He says he has a pain in the crutch."

    "No, not understanding what he says has to do with Samantha?" Shaz had to confess.

    "Sorry mistranslated. He says Chang called her a pain in the neck, ugly and a hazard to mankind."

    "Let me through." Pushing her way all the way through the madding crowd wishing she was like that book, far from it. There sitting upon a chair Sam sat there all tearful. "Now Samantha, I?m sure he doesn?t mean all he said. He is probably still hurting from last night."

    "I know Miss Sharon it?s all my fault, really it is."

    "What? Because you hurt his manful pride by whacking him in the nose."

    "No, I got angry and said things I shouldn?t have done. He told me the truth about myself. I am a pain in the backside, I do cause people harm, I am accident prone. I am a big looser," She sobbed.

    This was no time to tell the girl that she was right. This was management stuff and her husband was better at talking people round than she was. Still as Sharon took a deep breath she began with, "Hey you are not a looser. Okay you are a bit accident prone, but apart from that you are a good willing worker. After all from what I gather my club has been your longest place of employment, now that?s something."

    "Yeah."

    "So that is one plus point and another is that we all like you working with us."

    "We sure do!" The three Bob?s rose to the occasion followed by a less than enthusiastic back up from the kitchen staff.

    "So why don?t you work in here today with all your friends."

    As Sam looked up all the frowns and ripples of panic vanished as all welcomed their fall girl to the delights of the kitchen, wondering how the hell she wasn?t going to cause a health and safety violation.

    Now with all the tears out of the way Shaz instructed Sam to..."Clear away that pile of plates will you." Then looking about her she had another thing to ask, "Anyone going into Camden today?"

    "I am," replied Bob ?B?.

    "Great! Can you pop into the chemist and get me a pregnancy testing kit."

    The three Bob?s looked at each other before one of them asked, "What?"

    "I threw up this morning and it wasn?t drink. I think I am pregnant!"

    Suddenly there was a mighty crash as Sam dropped the pile of plates, not as an accident, this time it was shock over what Sharon had said.

    "Here?s a bit of cash and don?t be shy about it!" Shaz tapped Bob?s shoulder after placing the note in his hands and before she walked out she had one thing to say to Sam, "Oh, and that will be coming out of your wages."

    The kitchen once again fell into a deathly silence as all just looked at each other, mouths open.

    Ben was about to knock on the Mayor?s door when he was shouted at, "What do you think you are doing Sir?" it was Tiffany.

    "I was just about to give the mayor his breakfast."

    "I thought as much," Tiffany said a little out of breath for having to leg it upstairs to get here. "I have to deliver the breakfast trolley, not you. With all due respect."

    Ben walked over to the other wall and started to bang his head upon it as he pleaded, "I have to apologise, otherwise we get bad press, I get a headache from Shaz and you all lose your jobs because I exposed myself in the lift."

    Tiffany had had a load of nutty and eccentric bosses in her time and so she blinked several times to process this info before daring to ask, "You did what?"

    "Sharon made me wear boxers which I hate. I dropped my trousers in the lift and the mayor, his daughters and stuck up wife saw what I had as the boxers were wide open. I?m so ashamed!"

    The poor guy was banging his head harder now. Tiffany had to do something. This was the best job she had and her bosses though a little strange were really nice people. "Sir if you let me take breakfast in, I believe I can sort out this whole misunderstanding."

    "Bribe them with loads of cash, I have a savings account!"

    "No sir. It won?t cost you a penny."

    "It won?t?" As he stopped banging his head he asked, "What will it cost you?"

    "Just my reputation. Excuse me I have to deliver this while it?s still warm."

    The door to this exclusive part of the hotel opened and in she stepped. The place was quiet all except the fluttering of a newspaper. The man was sitting at the dining table.

    "Ah Tiffany, my breakfast as in breakfast with Tiffany, or not so now."

    "I have brought you your breakfast yes." She pushed the trolley down the gentle slightly curved slope and stopped just by the table and stood there.

    The Mayor noticed this, "Anything else?"

    "I have the apology of the owner and his wife for that little incident last night."

    "Wait till the press get my side of that one!" He laughed as he eyed up the host of treats. "My wife wanted us to pack last night, but I insisted we stay and see what compensation we can get from your employers."

    "What are you looking for?" Tiffany knew the answer.

    "A whole load of apologies along with their support and future kickbacks to my fund along with a load of free rooms to all my friends. I?ll need that."

    "Oh yes, you are going to run for parliament. You will need fine outstanding people to support you and your campaign."

    "That?s what a model citizen needs, oh and a few powerful friends."

    "You can dream of course! I for one will be routing for the other guy if you hit on my employers."

    The mayor stopped eyeing up the tray and looked up, "Come on Tiffany, we go way back to end our friendship on this."

    "You asked me about my future and if it ends here and I leave London it will be with your head hanging in shame, mister cuddles."

    "That was a long time ago." He was starting to get rattled. "No one will believe you and if they did it would take a lot of evidence."

    Tiffany smiled at him and saw him squirm, "I have evidence, several videos of our engagements as being your personal secretary. I believe your wife would like to view these."

    "My wife would support me through this and your name will be dirt, especially if you tried to sell those tapes to the gutter press."

    "Oh yes, your wife."

    "What about my wife?"

    "While the cat?s away the wife shall play." Tiffany noted his frown and before he could ask she answered his unvoiced fears. "She played fowl. Your pure wholesome wife has a fetish for certain places of ill repute. Oh the kids don?t know but they will when they read it all in the, as you say it, gutter press."

    He fumbled with the tea pot and gave up, too rattled to continue. "You have proof? What am I saying, of course you have proof. I made the biggest mistake hiring you. Too good for your own good. This will bring you down as well."

    Tiffany remained cool as a cucumber, "As I already said, I don?t mind if it does, as long as it stops scum like you from exploiting my friends."

    He didn?t have much time to think about this as one of his daughters came out and flicked on the television. He couldn?t risk hurting them, his wife on the other hand had done what he had done and both were going to have to talk about this before the?before hopefully the elections.

    "I take it you are the only one who knows?"

    "I and my bosses here know, no on else."

    The mayor raised his eyes skywards before doing the deal whilst whispering, "Okay. I will leave your friends and others out of this. Just promise me you will keep all this quiet along with your employers."

    "Of course. You have my discretion and I will give it to you in writing, you will sign it and I will have one written up for you all signed and witnessed. Now I want you to be polite to Ben especially as he has been in a lot of stress over his embarrassing situation."

    Like putty in ones hands, so was the mayor, "Show him in and I?ll smooth things over."

    Ben was outside when the door opened and one Mayor stood all smiles.

    "Ben what a nice surprise. I?m sorry we caused you any embarrassment yesterday evening."

    As he stepped in he noted one of the daughters look round, grinned at him before running out of the room on the way to tell her sister no doubt. He addressed the mayor, "Sorry Mayor, it was just an unfortunate incident. You see Shaz made me wear?"

    "Hear no more of this, please have a Danish and a cup of tea."

    Ben frowned as Tiffany pulled out of her blazer two letters all folded neatly. He noted the Mayor give her the evils before reluctantly reaching for the pen she was holding in the other.

    "You know about this of course?"

    Ben went to say he didn?t have a clue but upon inspection of Tiffany nodding behind the Mayor?s back he felt compelled to say, "Oh yes, all about it." He walked over to see the document.

    "It requires that someone witness me sign this and a witness required for Miss Lampshades document. Best be you as you know."

    Ben witnessed the signature and as he signed he took a look at a few words which made him raise one solitary eyebrow. He then had a good look at the other before signing as witness. It was a revelation and an exposure to what goes on in other business places. It also made him look at Tiffany in a different light.

    "What the hell is that pervert doing in our room?" Shouted the mayor?s wife as Ben turned round and covered his assets though there was nothing to hide now, shame he didn?t think of that last night. Tiffany in turn folded her letter and watched the mayor hide his in his newspaper.

    "My dear, Ben was informing me about his problem and quite frankly we misunderstood his plight."

Ben in turn interrupted with, "You see I?m allergic to boxer shorts and I had to?"

    "Come on boss best leave the Mayor and his wonderful family to have their breakfast while it is still hot," Tiffany interjected with as she yanked the man out of there.

    Outside Tiffany let out a big sigh of relief and as she opened her eyes she noted her employer was looking at her in a strange way.

    "I couldn?t help but notice some of the wording on those letters. You being a personal assistant means you were more to the Mayor than just a good secretary."

    "I arranged certain things that our good Mayor wanted to do. I was involved in keeping them from prying eyes. I was also in charge of keeping his wife?s affairs in check. I was so damn good, I kept their day to day affairs secret from each other. Neither of them knows what I know." She looked down at the floor, "Yes I did what I did because I wanted to be the best. I wanted to run a company and be looked up at. I compromised a lot for that man in there and he dumped me. Oh he paid me to keep silent and made sure he found me another job. I didn?t want his pity all I wanted was his love and respect. He gave me neither and so I took nothing from him. He had my silence until now. He was going to stitch you and miss Sharon up, I couldn?t let that happen."

    "You did all that for me and Shaz? And you can?t tell me you drafted up those letters in a few minutes."

    "No, I heard about your predicament and spent last night drafting up a legal get out of jail document on my laptop. You are the best people I know. So innocent, so kind and the best employer?s I have ever had. You have seen my potential, a first for me. You don?t want to use me and I appreciate that." Then she sighed, "But now I have to leave. I have blotted my copybook as the saying goes. My reputation will come out and it will be bad publicity for you and Sharon. If I leave now before it breaks I can save you the embarrassment of it all."

    Ben grinned, "In my part of the country, we have another saying as we don?t use ink. We say pencils have erasers on the end to erase past mistakes." He pulled out a small red carnation from the floral display which stood in a vase upon a nice ornate stand. Placing it in her button hole he added, "You are not an embarrassment. You have made me proud to know you and if it comes out we will stand by you." He kissed her on the cheek, "Stick with us kid and one day you will run this empire and you can have all the acknowledgement you deserve." He went to walk away then decided to add, "Don?t tell Shaz about me giving you flowers and especially the kiss."

    "I won?t." Tiffany grinned before remembering one thing and pulling it out, "Can you keep this in a safe place for me. I might need it if our friend in their decides to try and wiggle out of a tight spot in the future."

    Ben took the letter from her hand and was assured to add, "I don?t think he can. He?s weighed up what you said to him and views that of more import than holding one over me." As the lift door opened he smiled and said one word which summed up his gratitude, "Thanks."