24.5.2009

Timed Run

    Timed Run

http://www.netsaga.is/media/files/LateNightEarlymorn.mp3


    On a visit to his mother, Wayne Jones decided to do something about the clock which had been sitting on her mantelpiece for months not working. Heading for a watchmaker with the clock under his arm he broke into a jog-and the movement jolted the clock into action at exactly the same time it had stopped.

 

    All's Well

    Dr Ian Brighthope believes in the importance of meditation and nutrition in managing cancer.

 

    Apt Name

    The membership officer of a Toyota four-wheel-drive club is Mr John Skidmore.

 

    Monkey's Money Tricks

    The Stockholm Expressen newspaper gave 5 stock-market analysts 10000 kronor each to make as large a profit as they could playing the market. They also gave the same amount to a chimpanzee called Ola. After one month the chimp was ceclared the winner-his stock rose by 1541 kronor. The runner-up made 1050 kr. Ola made his investments by random selection-throwing darts at the finance page. In Lieu Ex-pilot Wal Bowles invented a device that converts an ordinary toilet into a squatting one, which he called In Lieu. The squatting loo is considered better for bowel movements.

 

    Sharp Joke

    Lindsay Hackforth was waiting nervously to donate a pint of blood to the Red Cross Blood Bank when there came over the sound system the song I've got you under my skin. She was laughing as the needle she had feared slid effortlessly into her arm.

 

    Water That Works

    Tour-bus driver David Colley took a party to Lourdes. Before leaving he checked the bus, topping up the radiator with some of the local miracle water. An hour later he noticed the right hand turn indicator which had not operated for weeks, was working, and continued to do so for the rest of the trip.

 

    One Man's Ink

    The name of a well known fountain pen is Waterman.