29.12.2006
SURRENDERING?
SURRENDERING?
All the time since I had had my severe accident in the middle of the Seventies I had had the dream of finding some permanent job, which gave me enough income to support me and my family.
My dream of becoming a teacher didn't come true, despite my education in the Teachers' Training College.
I was quite risky, to say the least for myself and others, as a laborer, both because of my absentmindedness and disequilibrium.
For some time I had quite a success as a salesman and debtcollector, but had to quit that for a number of reasons, but mainly because of the greater use of the banks and the mail-office.
I was quite successful when working for my disabled brothers and sisters, I suppose, at least a great number of them got jobs through my work.
For five and a half years I had devoted my strenght and ability to those who are less fortunate in our society, on very low wages.
I had from the beginning of my job as a Job-Seeker for the handicapped on the Sudurnes tried in vain to get some secure job for myself in the afternoon.
Many employers seemed eager to assist my clients in any way, but when I turned to myself in my eager-search for a suitable job, I only spoke to deaf ears and closed doors.
After I'd quit my own buisness; commission-sale on cheap used things, I made many attempts to get a suitable job, but it was all in vain just as before.
It didn't increase my possibillities,that unemployment in the area was at its historical peak at that moment.
Once again I had to except and live on unemployment compensation.
To my aching disappointment I only had earned claims for half compensations, because my last legal job hadn't been a full one.
What was I to do?
How could my family go on living?
How could we go on paying our debts?
Was I compelled to have myself placed in the company of those disabled people that I'd been fighting for?
Was I really so different from the normal man, that nobody wanted me as an employee?
Was I really unfit for any job?
After six months of striving along with more lack of money than ever I just couldn't go on any more living up to my own ideas of pride!
I took upp the phone and got myself an appointment with my doctor whom I wanted to give me a new handicap-certification.